god i just feel so distant from all of you
after a carload carpool back from my paradise
i suddenly stopped feeling
anything about you
except guilty and sorry that i was there
i know i did nothing (wrong)
but ruin everything
i used to know i would be sad
if you didn’t choose me in the end
but i’m not so sure anymore
because it feels like i’ve stopped
choosing you

Looking for providence
In the areas of hellfire and ash
Strung along four walls
For my humanity is up for grabs
Where my insanity seems to land
For I am hellishly filled with self doubts
And these words aren’t necessarily poetry
Just mere poetic venom
Seeping to the core desires of my whims
Amongst the rolling hills of sin
With sea salt licked sympathies on the rise

i’m pretty tired of beautiful things
looking so small in my hands
my worn, tender hands
they want to finally become the home
of things that my severity can’t crush
i am a ruiner in my own right
it’s just that i really only ruin
what is just out of reach

i’m not a confrontational fellow
i let myself get pushed to the ground
and i get up without a word
never demand an apology because
it was my fault that i was ever in the way

i rarely sleep when it’s dark out
when everyone is asleep
there’s no one to treat me harshly
and stare as i lose myself in another round
and another photo
and another song lyric

i’m so pretentious
this poem doesn’t even mean anything

i’m excited for sunday
as excited as i can be after
19 years of learning to be let down
i’m embarrassed to say that i gave up
before there was anything to give

i’d give that little number in the mirror
the entire world
if she’d just tell me
she loves me too.

you say you’re not a poet but
with a girl like that,
how could you speak
anything less than
the stars?
-a.c.b

while the lady in the ballroom
hikes up her sparkly dress
and tosses a drink in the face of her lover
and the prince has his eye on a
slim, red little starlet who tosses
his head back with laughter and cunning
the little mouse darts between their feet
learning more about patience, courage,
and forgiveness than
the owners of the shoes will ever
ever know.

i haven’t changed at all since the day i was born
my hair got longer
i got a little taller
but i’m still unexperienced and afraid
crying in a room with my parents
except this time
they don’t even notice.