if loving you was easy
i would have gotten bored by now
loving you isn’t a piece of cake
and that’s so fortunate
because i’m more of a pie lover myself
if loving you was easy
there’d be no reason for you
to put up with me
thank god loving you is difficult
i love that the most

i feel you growing tired of me
so i make sure we talk only about you
and i make sure to not mind at all
it’s something i’ve noticed recently.
i am always cutting off my edges
so other people have more room.

The first time
you said you loved
me, it was as if
I had been pulled aboard
a life raft after being
lost at sea. But
I see now that this
raft is littered with
holes and
we are sinking, but
you are convinced
that your love is a
teacup to scoop out
the water pooling around
my ankles and you will save
us, but the teacup has a crack
down one side and
do you see where I
am going with this?
A tablespoon of water
will never put out
a forest fire; I am burning
through acres.

i spend most of my time
trying to not take up too much of anyone else’s
i’m not a fragile human being
i just live a fragile existence sometimes
there are so many things about myself
that i still have to learn
like my blood type
and effective coping mechanisms
and anything good about me at all
i’m sorry my low self esteem rubs off on you
and lingers like a perfume scent
in the cross-stitches of your sweaters
but you have to admit
wearing sweaters at all in this weather
is a crime of its own.

sometimes i miss the sirens
they used to send spirals through my bedroom window
out here the crickets can be so
suffocating
always i miss the people
always always i miss the people
they were mine, they were good to me
sometimes a lonely living room
can still have people in it
back home, that is
you'd think it would be difficult
to be lonesome
when you have so many people
at your fingertips
but i'm the living proof
that it happens every day.