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 Jun 2014 Kai McC
Jessy Ivan Diaz
When I walk into the Emergency Room I know exactly what they're going to say, "Four years is a long time for a broken heart to heal" I guess they don't know how hard you hit it with your fist. So they stick me with a needle full of morphine and tell me, "This will help". It never does.

2. Dried lips and Swollen "I love you's" can make you feel again but god I don't want to feel anything if it means sitting here with my lungs filling up with fluids suffocating me while my ribs crack and splinter every ******* part of my body when she doesn't reply.

3. I told my Best friend I wanted to fall in love and he told me he would start writing my eulogy.

4. Words get stuck inside my bloodstream and their edges cut into my heart. I want to tell you how much I ******* miss you. I can't stop bleeding.

5. My mother always told me not to love someone with my entirety, because one night they'll turn off the lights and they'll take every fiber of me and forget come back to switch them back on.

6. There are over a thousand ways to **** yourself, hang yourself, burn the house with your body still in it, do too much ******, bleed yourself dry, let the weight of stone where your heart used to be drag you down to the bottom of the lake. I think the most effective way is making love with someone whose name you'll never be able to say without shaking.

7. You don't burn in a fire. You just become a part of it. Your hair ignites like fireworks end, your bones turn into coals, and your eyes melt into the embers. They say that being burned alive is the worst pain you could experience they were telling the truth I should have been more careful around you and your words that lit me aflame. There was a lot of choking and burning and thrashing and darkness.

8. When I told you to sleep with me I didn't mean Leave come sunrise and forget what happened.

9. Maybe you should come over. Maybe I should change the locks. I think I love you again.

10. I stopped smoking because you could stop my hands from shaking just as well as a cheap pack of cigarettes but you rot my insides even worse.
This was inspired
 Jun 2014 Kai McC
Jessy Ivan Diaz
8:55 am

I woke up and the first thought I had while my eyes were adjusting to morning light, was you.

9:30 am

I took a shower with hot water, hoping that the solitude of a small room would allow my thoughts to be rinsed away but sadly you flooded my heart, suffocating me.

11:00 am


Today is the 22 of June. For some strange reason I still keep track of when I met you, when was the last time I saw you. I never wonder if I'll see you again, or how long it'll take for that to eventually happen.

I forgot what time it was, because I was thinking so much about you that time became irrelevant.

It didn't matter how long I've known you for because you came and impacted my life like an asteroid on some planet. You left me bruised, I know your touch now and I know your love.

5:00 pm

I'm still thinking about you.


8:00 pm

The sunset reminds me a lot about you, how beautiful you are and how you don't even bother or care to know. I could look at you for an eternity or two, and still love you for what and who you are.

Mid-night.

Here I go, hoping that in my sleep I'll get some peace but truly how I just ******* wish you could be here next to me in bed.

Maybe it's all a dream.
 Jun 2014 Kai McC
Jessy Ivan Diaz
I murdered chances more than three times,
and by definition I became a serial killer.

But how long can a monster reside inside my soul
before I forget that I’m human?
How many more chances must I get
to feel something good?

But my targets never change,
she has to be vulnerable,
weak, and silent.

I try to be the creator
and destroyer,

I help build the foundation to a corpse half dead

become alive,
become strong willed
and strong physically,
and sometimes assist in creating
a voice like thunder.

But I fail to see that putting others before me doesn’t justify the “love” I feel for them. I am no better than the guy who will break your heart in your next relationship.

I **** more good than I create it,
I don’t live for you or I,
I live because the world has
given me reason too.

I feel the energy of death and life,
and I play with both
inside my body.

Yet I can’t keep my mind off of you
and hoping that one day you will see
that I’m Frankenstein's monster
and you’re my creator.

Demons are inside me
as much as angels fly overhead
Fires burn inside my ribs
and consume my belly.

I’m a psychopath
and a writer.

But I’m also a lover trying to mend hearts with pieces of mine.
 Jun 2014 Kai McC
tayler
hope
 Jun 2014 Kai McC
tayler
hope is a reflection
held in a tear
drop. a mention
of beauty in
a wet ball of fear
or sadness. when
all seems unfit,
a reminder that here
is Nature with
a warm touch of beauty
to quell the despair.
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