good news.
the world still spins around the universe
sunset and sunrise
just like before.
everything still seems to move on
the way it always has.
even without you here.
even when it seems
the world inside me has stopped
the world around me never stops moving
never missing a beat
day after day
slamming into you
knocking the air from your lungs
kissing your open mouth on the way out
reminding you
that just as easily as something,
someone
can be brought into your life,
they can be taken out.

i linger on the corner of moving on
and forgetting
and the pathways look all too similar.
down one,
the stars dance with the moon
cloaking the world in darkness.
down the other,
street lamps tease the midnight air,
flickering on
and off,
hiding what's just around the corner
and in the end, it doesn't matter which road i take
because while i linger on the corner of moving on
and forgetting
i still wear your watch to work.

Women sit, or move to and fro—some old, some young;
The young are beautiful—but the old are more beautiful than the young.

When they asked me who I was I gave them a simple reply, but what I wanted to say was...
I'm a mess!
I never sleep.
I can't control what I eat.
I'm an emotional and nervous wreck.
But I can lie and say I'm trying my best. (I'm not)
I still have a long ways to go.
After all, I am a work in progress, you know?

I am not the amount of likes my selfies get. I am not the amount of heads that turn when I walk into a room. I am not the amount of makeup I wear. I am not the weight I gain or loose. I am not the brands I have. I am none of that.

But I'll tell you what I am...
I'm a thinker.
I'm a writer.
I'm a fighter.
I'm my faith.
I'm my laughter.
I'm a sister.
I'm a friend.
I'm shy.
I'm smart.

And I'm still learning that what matters is what's inside my heart.

sweet love? what is that? it sounds like **** to me. i don’t want superficial i want raw. i want you open and honest and i want your bleeding knuckles from where you’ve punched the wall too many times in frustration over me and be loud. be ******* loud okay don’t shower me in rose petals and whisper in my ear that you love me, scream it out to the world when we are high and on a rooftop at 4:28 on some april morning. and don’t buy me flowers, don’t ******* buy me flowers or earrings or silver chains, instead buy me the wire and tools i need to see inside your brain and pull you apart are you will me until there is nothing left of us and we are broken, so so broken that it’s all we can do just to love and fight and love and fight and if it doesn't work out then **** the universe because god knows we tried

I thought that returning to its place of origin would help, but instead I sit and whisper to myself, willing the memories to disappear

i tell you, yes. i know.
alexandria burned
brighter than my soul.