What a sight
Harsh, bright light
Mattress stripped of sheets.
Sea of clothing on the floor
(you didn't clean anymore)
Pack of condoms on the nightstand
Your balled fist
My shaking hands.
Have some *****!
(maybe a fifth?)
I was certain these situations
Were merely high school myth.
Fifteen years old in your cellar
My mothers questions
(You said never tell her.)
I couldn't know it was a mistake
(Though later I found out
Since I was drunk
It was ****.)
Why did you even keep me around?
I was so lost
But believed I was found.
But let me ask you this:
If I had said no...
How fast would you have sent me home?

How soft the world seems to be
On a weekday afternoon.
With clouds in the sky
And silence in the house.
How carefully the wind weaves
Through branches planning new leaves.
The cars pass quietly
Sparse on the road.
It is as though everyone
    collectively
Is afraid to shatter the silence.
It is as though the world is holding its breath.

How wonderful it is to know
That in some very distant universe
   Where the equal
   And opposite reactions
   Are held
I live a life that did not derail
The moment you said
Hello.

I have always found homes strange.
Perhaps not houses themselves
But the stillness in them.
I always found it strange
How people leave things
Always under the impression
That they will come back to them.
I guess it makes things
That much worse
When they don't.

We all die
1000 little deaths
While waiting for
The real thing.

I wish it would rain every night.
It is white noise
Everywhere.
Preventing the dark from being silent
Preventing my mind from being loud.
I wish it would rain every night
So I could lay here
In the stillness
While drops of water
Explode on every surface.

You took Zoloft.
It killed your ability to ******.
You were stubborn, though.
It
took
two
hours
for
you
to
come
and
despite
my
protests­
you
couldn't
give
it
up.
So I had to.
Your couch was disgusting.
Your ******* on my skin
Was even worse.