so tell me how does one
break free from pain?

how far being okay can be okay?
how stronger does one needs to be?
how many battles do i have to conquer
to end this misery?

because i'm tired spending
each night crying alone,
i'm done lying to people
that it doesn't hurt anymore,
i want to drown from these
unfathomable emotions nevermore.

so tell me when how does one stops the rain?
how does one break free from pain?

sudden waves of sadness
came into my shore,
enveloped my chest,
leaving me no space to breathe,
was it the pills or it was just me?

promised myself to always choose happiness,
to always live in positivity,
and my doctor said it may just
be an adverse effect,
but was it the pills or it was just me?

was it really possible?
to drown in sadness without knowing why?
i tried to seek for answers,
but was only welcomed by the dark.
so was it the pills or it was just me?

it started to rain,
and my feelings went in vain,
i didn't want to be in this cage,
so i prayed to God for some help,
was it the pills or it was just me?

i wish this hurricane will soon fade away,
for the sun to finally rise with no visible grays,
and i know I'll make it through His grace,
but it still puzzles me,
was it the pills or it was just me?

when trust has been broken,
and promises were forgotten,
can i love you the same way again?

when dreams were all shattered,
and sufferings were never heard,
shall we start all over again?

when everything has changed,
and your kisses felt stranged,
should you be my home again?


n o,    n e v e r   a g a i n .

if you like the sea,
then i like it too.
if you love sunsets,
then i love them too.

if you wish to go to the moon,
then i'll go with you.
if you want the stars,
then I'll get them for you.

but if someday,
you decided not to be
with me anymore,

what's the point in staying,
if you think i'm not worth fighting for?

you were my past and all of my future,
never would i thought you'd be my cure.
you stayed when nobody ever did,
you were there whenever i'd bleed.
so as long as the sun sets 
and river flows, 
as long as the world turns 
and the winter blows,
my soul will only sing for you.

1st day of not seeing you
2nd day of being blue
3rd day of sleepless nights
4th day of endless cries
5th day of hoping
6th day of breaking
7th day of unbearable pain
8th day of feeling insane
9th day of losing myself
10th day of what's wrong self?
11th day of finally moving on
12th day of "life must go on"
13th day of trying
14th day of wishing
15th day of convincing
16th day of forgetting you
17th day but i'm still not over you.

and suddenly we're gone.
the moments we shared turned distant memories,
the song we used to sing became   a classical piece,
the butterflies forgot to give fluttery sensations anymore.
the path we used to take became an unfamiliar road.
the half of me no longer aches for you.
our love became a folktale that no one longer recall.