I want this to be the last letter I ever write you my lover
I'm tired
I've written about a dozen letters to the moon complaining of all
these chest pains and honestly it's getting ridiculous no one reads
them,  they just sit here accumulating evidence of a romance so
twisted the one lover can't even spell the others name with out
quivering with a certain uncertainty
These letters dont  mean a thing
I don't know why I keep writing them,  they're strange and unintelligent things
And I'll be ****** if the last thing I ever do is write about a man
who is my anchor , keeping me anchored which is ironically insane
considering an anchor is the very thing that sinks you down to the
very bottom
I'm very confused and we're very complicated
I can hardly decipher which one of us is the ship and which the anchor

I realize that I'm not as kind and innocent as I'd like to think I am
I've done ****** things just as you my king
And it's a shame I like to pretend otherwise
But not as shameful as being unable to tell whether I'm the hero or
the villain in our situation , and that's just another unpleasant
thing about us I'm never writing about again.

I like dancing and drinking, sometimes fighting and *******, and not necessarily in that order.

Life isn't an equation. It's not a folded napkin, windexed decanter or applebees' reservation.

Sing, smoke, scream. When you laugh, let it boom. Howl at imaginary moons.

Roar to life

church bells going off in my head
ringing on and on
until I can't sleep and I kneel
just to speak to god
and I don't even believe in him
but I never knew
that the church bells meant you.

please take me to a safe place
where everything is bright and shining
where it's never raining and dreary
where the water is pure and food is a delicacy
i want a safe place
where i'm never afraid of being myself
where i don't feel guilty for being happy
where i won't be forced to be unhappy
take me to a safe place
where my family isn't falling apart
where no one is a disappointed in me
where i'm not afraid of my best friend
just take me to a safe place
please.

I find myself pacing
Or staring at nothing,
While i can't slow my thinking
Or find a pattern in my breathing.

I'm no less lost
Than I was last month,
And no less terrified
Than when I broke
All the promises
I had made to myself.

My tiny room
Can't hold me
For too long.
My expansive thoughts
Bounce off the walls
And back into me
Until I decide to
Find some place open to think.

And I walk all alone
I lay in dark open fields
Or on benches by water,
Hoping my thoughts will get lost
In the landscape
And forget to return to my head.

My eyes fill with anxiety
As I forget to breathe.
I make sure no one
Can see me
Than I let the anxiety
flooding my eyes roll down my cheeks.

The cold breeze
Reminds me to breathe
And I'm back in the grass
Hoping you're thinking about me.

He had a heart of gold
That weighed him down
Bit by bit
Because of another
With a heart of stone
Both weighed the same
Both were to blame