i cannot put into words what you have done for me but i will try
i was lost in the numbness of nothingness
the silence around it all was getting way too loud
and i hadn’t felt the excitement of another for way too long

you’ve been around for a while
in the back of my mind as a matter of fact.

it may have taken a while to get you to notice me
but i was willing to take the time, because you felt different
and as far as ‘felt’
it’s too early to tell but you make me feel
and it’s not just a spurt of feel, its a feel thats real

i almost gave up in all honesty
i didn’t want to put myself out there again
to then just be torn limb from limb, again
but you felt, right

you’re quiet… to others
but to me you’re you
and i can’t get enough of you

your voice is distinct-
your voice is yours, it levels me and i could listen to it all day
your eyes are deep-
your eyes are specific, they look at me not through me
your walk is confident-
your walk is purposeful, you don’t wander
your presence is home, its way too early but at the same time idc
your essence is irrational, idk why you’re here at this time
but i can’t second guess it cause nothing has ever felt so right

i look at you and i am in wonderment
your beauty is indescribable
and your being makes your beauty seem intolerable

you make me want to become a better me
you make me reevaluate my purpose
you make me pay attention

i cannot put into words what you have done for me but i will try
i was lost in the numbness of nothingness
the silence around it all was getting way too loud
and i hadn’t felt the excitement of another for way too long

idk why God has placed you in my life
but i hope that you are here to stay
no one has affected me the way you do
i have been so afraid of it all
to stay put
to move
to be happy
to love
to give myself up
but you make me anxious to do all of those things
you make me want to be happy
you make me want to try
you make me want to take risks
you make me want to move
but most importantly-
you make me want to

Every time I have a nightmare, you're the reason why.

I want nothing to do with you
As all you do is play games with my heart
I want nothing to do with you
As you play with the broken pieces as if it was art
I want nothing to do with you
Because you lead others on
I want nothing to do with you
Because you become someone else after dawn
I want nothing to do with you
Because you allowed another in
Oh how I wanted to end it right then
I want nothing to do with you
For I'm not the only one anymore
I want nothing to do with you
Because I feel so washed up here at shore
But through all that
Through everything you've put me through
I want everything to do with you
And for that I do not know if I'm strong, or if I'm the weakest man alive
But the heart wants what the heart wants, even if it lead's itself to die

The old dim lighted staircase was our setting
Shoulder to shoulder we sat
A glance at my watch read 3:55 AM
To some that would be considered late, but when I was with her I had no sense of the word “late”
She made time stand still
Only knowing her for about a couple weeks she had already become my best friend
Coming to that conclusion was not difficult
Knowing that nobody has ever made me feel as good about myself as she did,
I knew she was one in a million
Conversation carried and I found myself face to face with her, standing up now
Talking turned to whispering
And whispering to silence
I could feel her breathe ever so slightly on my lips
Her nose met mine
Even if I wanted to move I couldn’t
Temporary paralysis too over my body
As I stared into her eyes and she stared into mine I didn’t know what to do
A million things began running through my mind
Most prevalent was “Is this right?”
Our eyes wondered from our lips back to our eyes
Standing there for what seemed like an eternity
She finally moved
Forward
As her lips met mine I lost myself
Being able to feel nothing and everything at the same time
As I was about to pull away she pulled in closer
Locking her lips in mine
The feeling was utterly indescribable
Fireworks wouldn’t do the feeling in my body any justice
As two puzzle pieces fit perfectly together, so did her lips on mine
She backed up and we stared into each others eyes once again and I noticed the slightest smirk on the corner of her mouth
Grabbing her by her hips I pulled her in for another
And it was just as breathtaking as the first one
Only knowing her for about a couple weeks she had already become my best friend
Coming to that conclusion was not difficult
Knowing that nobody has ever made me feel as good about myself as she did, I knew she was one in a million
But I also knew,
That in some supernatural way,
This was right
She was right
We were *right

It's extremely dangerous to get so close to someone.
You don't know what to expect or what's gonna come out of it.
You start spending more and more time with them until you feel weird if you're not with them.
They make you laugh, they make you smile, they make you wonder how you lived so long without them.
But then things seem to change.
They know so much about you- or at least think they do- that they stop trying to learn more.
They stop trying to be more involved in your life.
They just settle for where you guys are at now.
And it ***** for the person that wishes the other would give more effort.
It ***** because it's not how it used to be.
No more laughing at everything, no more catching yourselves smiling at eachother.
Everything seems so routine and dull.
No life
No excitement
No more feeling.
Just a settle for how things are now.

Caution* who you allow in
Caution what you do with them
Caution how you let them effect you within
Caution where you bring them
Caution when you decide they’re yours
They may not see your efforts, they may just want more
Just take caution, because you never know when they’re going to *let you *go

Time* has gone by
But only in reality has it gone
Within, it seems like its been a lifetime
Knowing you, or rather having known you..
It’s probably all been the same
We said things wouldn’t change
But we’ve slipped away from each other
Like aged tires, unprepared for the rain

At the ****** of our demise it seemed unreal
I tried to hold on for so long
Most would say too long
As i hung from my figment of a cliff, my fingers began to fail me
With every moment of negligence I cried for a change of heart
From you, that never came

As I free fell from my cliff
Deep into the abyss of nothingness I sank into, and digressed from life
I was in a state of internal paralysis
My heart beated, but ever so quietly
My mind thought thoughts, but ever so dismally
I walked the halls watching others laugh and fellowship
When all the while I just missed your smile

Your laugh
Your smell
Your walk
Your talk
Your eyes
Your touch
It was all too much
Too much to yearn at once

As lonesome days came and went, I wondered when this would leave me
When I’d be free from this feeling of no feeling
Others tried to help but my heart was stubborn
I wanted nothing but to reverse the clock
Back to the days when I did feel
When I did smile
When I did live

But then that day came.
That day when God dove into the abyss and rescued me
It was as if all the pressure from the deep ocean had been lifted off my shoulders
My emulation of the Titan Atlas was no more
My fled soul had been returned to my body
And it was all by His grace

Nowadays I still check up on such individual
But I do so from a far
The feeling of care still resonates in my heart
Just not in the way it once did

Yes you've changed, but I don’t see that You
I see the You that i knew
The You that I met and felt utterly anew
The You that I temporarily walked life with and grew

But I have moved on
It took longer than most would
But I guess it was because I loved way more than I knew I could
Now I see you and I feel nothing
But its far from the nothing of before
Now its a calm nothing
A nothing that reassures
Everything’s going to be okay,
I’ve lit my lantern and let it float away, as it burns

Maybe it was all meant to happen this way
Maybe it wasn’t
But either way
Time has gone by
But only in reality has it gone