She hides behind her eyes
withered and tampered
tempered i am, she needs
to be pampered, help i give
but she won't receive, see
i want to help her, so she
doesn't have to grieve ....

infinite.
these thoughts are infinite
at times it feels like too much
so many things
so many stories
so many times i remember,
the times
we used to be together
they were great
like our first date
that one day
or should i say night
in the drive way...
when our
love
took flight

.......

I know the way I left you wasn't the easiest way to leave.
I'm sorry I couldn't have made it easier-
somehow lessen all this grief.
But you see I've been struggling for some time with a broken heart
and my best efforts to repair it couldn't begin to start
To take away the pain I felt
To help me feel some hope
My spirit was dying daily
and I lost all strength to cope
So don't let yourselves be troubled
Never think to blame yourselves
For I have gone to God who is over all
Seeking the One True Source of help
Know that I will love you for forever
and that I can't wait for you to see
the wondrous gift of healing
God is fashioning in me.

A self-inflicted bullet to the brain is an artist's validation

The pain was real

When living with addiction, you focus your time and effort on your next fix. I wish that this was fiction, but its a sickness that your stricken with.

This habits self inflicted, behind your smile your suffering. You hate your life and feel numb inside, from the shame you bare as punishment.

Why do you entertain the thought of suicide, for the position you put your self in. When your depression stems from low self worth, yet your still injecting hopelessness.

Stop looking for a permanent solution, to a temporary problem. Is your life so bad that the only feeling you know is pain, or is it guilt from the thrill you get, as you search, for the perfect vain.

You say you've finally had enough, your fed up and its time for change. But its a vicious cycle with mental strain, because tomorrow came and remained the same.