You may see colors and a world that is free. When I open my eyes everyone is expecting good things from me. I struggle to breath in this cage without a window or door. Black and white, white and black-I feel as if to be under attack. Do I wait for one more year to pass or attack back? I want to be me but then all of a sudden there's something wrong with me? I seem so sad, I look so depressed. I'm okay, I'm not under any stress! Laughing in the back of my head because being me rather than the person I set up in their heads make them all think I've lost my sanity instead!

NoT yet hAVe i GonE mAD!

I have not ripped my memory's to shreds! I don't need more meds. Am I really seeing all these things or is it just in my head? Attack! Attack! Knock down the cage walls white and black! Black and white! Depressed in stress I wear a bullet proof vest; they strap me tight in the jacket without care, lock me up and watch me disappear.

it's called the reason Austin blocked me
it's stupid and easy and easy going forfeit
like you
so **** blue, hopeless, pale skin
caught in the universe

you picked up on that

i just never did
i just exploded like crescents in a can
i just bled out or vomited my hopes and dreams
on the coffee table of the universe

Furious tides, black black skies

Water chilled, like my heart

Waves fierce begging demise

Hollowed soul, beckons my blood.

Fire tears guiding my hate and your deepest fear...


Curse you resentment

Shower me with faith

Relieve this demanding desire to bludgeon spirit and hope of the one who keeps me living

Fail me not heart so fueled

Let me surrender this which makes me merciful or set this evil in the stone, so I can transform

Let me be kind or let malevolence reign

Dominance sway no more

Rivers wrath o' sin, utilize my entire being

Or strike my heart with life, and rid this vengeance so pure

Bring the rays so warm with it's beauty so sweet and incandescent all that is right

Or swallow me whole, and blacken my eyes so all who encounter me have time to flee

Let them destroy me with true affection...

overwhelm me with good intentions

Or shatter every shred of my beauty...

Contort me to my selfish form of desire for pain, drenched in the fear that I bestow

Hummid, disgust, gasping dirt darkened night

O' sun obliging comfort O' generous warmth...

Bless me calm winds.

Take in the light and rid me of sin

Save me...

Condem me...

Do as you will...

Just do it quickly and leave me fulfilled

I have no one to talk to.
I have no one who knows.
I don't feel sorry for myself, but I need strength.
I fear the future,  because of the past.
And I embrace the future, because I know it brings this moment to the past.
What a disgusting person I must be, because broken never looked good on anyone and pathetic is how it reads on me.
So stupid to have not realized I was in a game.
I was caught off guard and its not about losing...
Just the fact that I didn't want to play.
It's amazing the things I didn't see.
It's ridiculous, what I thought I saw.
Now there's a path before me.
I need only to prepare for the trip.
With a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes I need to accept that this is good bye.
Friendship is forever in some ways, but lies taint it and sometimes there's nothing to save.
All this time, I've been alone.
I don't understand what makes it so hard to make it final.
Me being me and you being you is what I thought made us, us...
But I guess to much of anything is way to much.
And our special friendship was fun when I thought it was real.
I feel hate in my heart, but the sadness consumes it.
And my heart stings.
It's the only way that I know this is real.
I dare not be bitter.
I dare not be conquered.
But nauseous and shatterd is what I can't deny.
So I'll talk to myself not knowing if it will do any good.
Myself is all I have at the end so I might as well get used to it.
I wonder what kind of friend I'll make myself...
Will I be honest like the real me or will I try to convince myself that this is nothing?
I can already see that I'm the greatest friend a person can have, always honest, always there...
But this great friend thing...
I don't think it applies to me.

It's times like this that I believe there's no such thing as love.
How can an emotion so wonderful be destined to be accompanied by emotions most tragic?
At one moment your heart is so full and sure...
Then at any other it's beauty is stolen, and your left lonely with only pain and tears.
What a cruel way to live...
With faith that your love is genuine.
You feel as powerful as this love is, that it can't be broken.
But the very person that makes such a miraculous feeling possible is your enemy.
Now something so fragile has become hardened and cold.
Revenge sits in your heart with those tears and rather then drown in them, it basks and laughs.
Maybe only I am cursed.
That would be fine, for something so special shouldn't be stolen from everyone.
Surely other's deserve this amazing comfort, undisturbed.
And not even my damaged heart would wish this trick on anyone.
But karma is my friend, even though revenge fights to be freed.
If only I could be as ugly person as he...
The public would be amazed at the treachery I'd blaze.
And the devil would smile with pride.
If only I were a little weaker...
I'd thank Satan for his very existence.
And I'd make myself home in hell as this so called lover is shattered as I have been shatterd.
If only I were weaker...
I'd be the perfect storm.
I'd shadow my every thought with evil and release such a rage.
It would be glorious and such a film it would make...
All of the viewers could watch him watch and run from his faith.
And they would shed tears, because they would feel his heart break, like my heart once broke...
Still I'd be such a monster with tremendous ways of destroying a heart...
No person could look away...
My pain would be art.
If only I were weaker...
If only it was true...
If only I never fell in love with you.
If only I were weaker...
The things I'd do, if only I could be lower then you...
If only love didn't exist, or at least if I knew nothing of it.

And it sweeps over me like a charmed dimmed veil.
Providing me shade and stealing my breeze.
Keeping me fresh in my misery.
Prolonging my grief.
Hiding my tears and my wicked smirk.
I am the bride of my own shadow, loneliness.
My reception, the demons that haunt me.
My cake the lump in my throat.
Open bar of my tears.
And I'll make my speech honoring my weakness as my best friend.
I'm a bride and failure is my groom.
What a couple we make, all of darkness will rave.
For I am sad and angry.
Me and my groom shall create such destruction in our wake.
I will make it rain, thunder and quake.
With my groom as long as he stays.

I write with honesty and drape it with emotion.

I wash my words with tears and dry them in anger.

I never read my words out loud, my tongue has no taste for them.

I don't notice anyone sees my writes as I notice nobody feels them.

I tap my words on to a screen as I watch my tv.

I write my words just with me and expect nobody.

Words scrape raw into my mind, on to the screen.

They reap my pain in the most simplest way.

It's not very beautiful, not like my hello poetry friends, but it's just like me no time for etiquette.

The words stumble from my mind, much like someone who has lost thier way.

And my heart reads into every line, even when I say I bare none.

Be it rushed, sloppy and brazen...

My words always always find their way onto my hello poetry page.

I get lost in all of my fellow writers, writes.

But it's no surprise, because that's how it is in my everyday life.

I'm lost and I'm found, alot down and almost never sound.

I write how I live.

I write only what I live...

My echoes are all I have to give to my hello poetry friends.