I look for you in everyone.
Because I don't want to get hurt anymore.
Yes, I look for you in everyone.
So no one else can do, what you did to me.
If someday I run into you, don't expect me to say sorry for speaking up.
Don't expect a hug, because you don't deserve feeling my warmth.
Don't expect me to listen to you, when you try to tell me, that you did nothing.
I don't want you to even admit you did anything, because I know what happened.
I don't need anything from you, leave me alone.
Please, don't look for me, don't knock on my door.
Please, don't reach out.
The only thing you need to know is that I'm doing fine without you.
The only thing you need to know is that you did not keep me down.
The only thing you will find, is a different girl.
A girl who doesn't let people do what you did.
You have taken enough from me.
No, I don't forgive you.

In a crowd looking out
my love, the world
under a waterfall
of milky moonlight

I am but a star
in a constellation of many
her, the world
my heart's captor

though as bright as I shine
my light is in vain
her, the world
only sees the sun

Perhaps a dream
will guide my way
or your bluish glance
will connect with me

her, the world
my heart's captor
seas of splendor
and curves of heaven

I know one day
you'll come to see
that I the star,
am plain to see

a sun up close,
for now i'm far

my light will kiss
your delicate face
where life resides
and birth awaits

these chapters come
and soon will go
for this I know
our time will come

oh, to be
just like the sun
warming your skin
of saharan mud

oh my love,
of blue and green
I pray to you
so you'll look to me

Saturn's rings
she can't contend
nor Mar's skin
her sunlit charm

A planet amongst many,
my earth of green and blue
though my light
my love,
was always for you

One thing I learned
in my long college career
is that
I don't know a thing

I cannot read minds
nor fix this world
I still fall back to
this broken poetry

The place to be
we thought as youth
though in this life
it's a choice we choose

where you desire to be
is a figment of reality
a plan so mismal
to the burning sun

What faith you lack,
oh guilty one
on this track of life
you chose death!

In this college degree
I learned to see
not through intellect
but through emptiness

Poetry flows like gentle tides
before a hurricane
her sandy shores
anticipate

Three jumps left
and two jumps right
the lord speaks
and I follow

Milk moonlight of divine delight
silky sheets of satin rose
nerves underneath
emit electricity
and birth

Lovers in my past
don't leave my mind
their faces exist
etched in time

Sink like a stone
through deep waters
fall to her blackness
and the dark sea's wonders

thin skin, a lighted hook
neon guppies glitter
in florescent
store light

Take heed when he calls
for the depressed ones
in your life
call

Always help
those in need
for you never know
when you, it could be

Solomon wrote
songs and poetry
they flowed from thought
as divine symphony
of what does this teach you of women?
Solomon had the most
of any man

Be true to yourself
and your dreams will come
not the dreams you've planned
but the one's- you stumble upon

You feel the onset,
a coming of age
chapters that came
now changing phase

pregnant mothers
of children's firsts
hints at marriage
or spiritual birth

Pages turn,
you can't halt it
hope to grow wise
if you can help it

the rhythm of life
is always of change
if you remain stagnant
your skin will age

To see the end,
oh a noble feat
a crying old woman
of 93

she lost her husband
her first and young
this was years ago

arms of iv's
and infected blood

calm doctors
of objective question
silent nurses
at medical attention

Though chapters change,
not all are the same
a spring to come
or hell's cold rain

I wish you the best,
upon your journey

Sitting crowded where eyes fear to meet,
I've been told to never stop imagining
Where the soul can hum like the buzz of a hummingbird
and touch operates with inspiration of its own

Sitting in a crowded square, everyone speaks
Yet their speech is tangled, misshapen as it crumbles
As words fly off their lips with sickly colors,
bubblegum pink and neon green and pavement grey

Where I sit, in the crowd, a sea of compartmentalized people
Where hypocrisy is glued to their faces, reeking of hunger
And thoughts ****, bounce like chaos off the walls
No one really seems to care to glance what hits them

Where I sit there is no one else at the table
So I crack open the window and sunlight beams in
With a great flash the bouncing thoughts could breathe  
And eyes begin to see the colors which have been buried in their hearts

running by the seaside where the foam fizzles like sparks
where the imprints in the sand Time has left
in a great, furious hurry, oh  how those days recollect
the late, late nights with the air soft like a pillow
soothing to the soul as it whispered
where the cuts laid in too deep,
Time, oh Time, where have you gone
with the crunch of gravel underneath my feet
and the pump in my arms, the twist in my spine
as I sprinted down the shoreline,
yet you always stayed out of my reach
the sun was beginning to set,
its golden fingers licking the water
and the salty, brittle air buffered in my eyes
so by the labor of my lungs tears sprung in my eyes
Time, you marvelous hypocrite, I can never get
the hold of your hands

She’s happier when she’s self-harmed.
At least, that’s what she thinks.

She’s more confident when scars are hiding on her body.
Until she looks in a mirror
And realizes what she has done to herself.

She hates herself when she looks in the mirror.
Until that feeling goes away
When someone says, something mean, without knowing her story
That’s when self-hatred comes out and captures her mind.

She’s happier when she’s self-harmed.
All her issues are better when expressed on her skin.
  Crashing back when the high of self-harming is gone.
And it ends up causing her more pain, then she had before.

She likes the world more when she has self-harmed.
It’s filled with so much good
Until something sets her off and feels the need to self-harm again
And she hates it all more than she should once again.

Her mind feels calm, when she self-harms.
Terrified of losing that feeling
She soon wants to self-harm again.

But she can stop any time she wants
She has herself trying to believe this.
Because self-harm takes the pain away.
That is, until all her friends leave.
Because her life revolves around the next time she self-harms again.

The victims deal with the abuse.
Then when they get enough courage to leave, they have to go into hiding.
Afraid every-time the phone goes off, that it is them.
Every-time someone knocks on the door, they wonder.
Have I been found? Will I have to move again?
When they go out, they look behind them constantly making sure no one is following them.
Careful to post any information on social media, so they cannot be cyber stalked by them.
A friend request on the internet makes them suspicious, wondering if that could be them.
Someone who is friendly sets off alarms, wondering if somehow this person could be related to their abuser.
The victim did not ask for any of this yet, the only way to survive is to leave and hide.
Forever wondering if they will be found and put through the abuse again.