I’ll sleep when time rises
In the quiet
Of Saturdays.

And as heaviness weighs
My web-veined lids,
I’ll breath in

The silence that
Is morning.

i used to be filled
with swarms of tickling butterflies-
a nervous, nauseous feeling that accompanied me everywhere i went,
along with the intense feeling that one of you might be somewhere up ahead.
now all i feel
is the autonomous cycle of my breath
and my pulse,
no longer too fast.

your breath
is soft
and deep
like a birds
wings
climbing  on
a high
summer
wind.

to be
near you
is to be
calm and
soothed
like a
pacific tide
rolling over
a sea shelled
beach.

you fill
the places
in a soul
that have
been opened
deep and
left to
dry under
the pain
and solitude
of life.

and you
do it
all so
effortlessly
as if it
was your
calling.

and as  I
sit before
you

with God
as my
witness.

I am
healed.

Do you miss him?
Yes
Do you love him?
With all my heart
Do want to be with him?
Sometimes
So you'll talk to him again?
No, never

Body is weak
Hard to think
Water is deep
Try not sink

I project what we could be
In the depths of my mind
I wish you could see
What you’re able to find

You don’t need me
You want me
All just because you’re lonely

You romanticize my mental state
You think that its cool
To suffer from hate
Chemical imbalance you claim to understand
But when it comes to my pain
You seem so offhand.

Hey Buk    

I just wanted to say...

Thank you

You make me laugh

You make me think

About this thing called life

And the small part I play

You inspire me to write

Even though by comparison

I am a fraud

I promise to dedicate my first book

To you

Or Robert Baun

Or my wife.