Been dreaming about you lately,
Seeing someone like you and feel happy,
Missing your loud voice, your round big eyes,
Your endless stories and all the thing you taught me,
the way you listen to my problems and believe in me,
I'm sorry if I did that to you,
I can't get you out of my mind lately,
I'm really missing you,
if only I can talk to you again but I can't.

I did not mean to do it,
it just happened.
I have no intentions to make you fall,
but every day that we talk,
I know every thing is starting to fall,
I am not ready yet,
sorry if I am going to leave you now,
I am afraid to let you know,
how much you mean the world to me.
we used to share thoughts about every thing,
but we need to part our ways,
this feeling is not right anymore,
I love you but I know you will never be with me.
I am sorry,
I fell for you,
and I am not willing to let you know.


-J.

you are my first thought in the morning,
and you are also my last though before I go to sleep.
I always look for you,
find ways just to talk to you,
just to be with you.
To see that smile of yours,
that I fell in love with.
I hate to admit,
I love being with you,
and definitely enjoy it.
I am getting used to those things,
and I know it is not right,
but I love it,
at the same time I hate it.

"do not be attached"
I keep saying it to my mind,
but my mind just laughed,
and said
"you keep on saying that,
but you never do it"*
and then suddenly,
I realized,
it is easy to say,
but hard to do...
because, once you get attached,
detachment will leave marks.

we know it is not right,
but we continue on doing it.
we know we can hurt,
but we never admit.
we know someone might fall in love,
but we have no intention to make them fall.
we know it is never easy to forgive,
but we do not know how to say sorry.
we know it is easy to say good bye,
but we know it is hard to do.
in every thing we do,
there is an equal and opposite reaction.

hello?
do you still remember me?
I am the one who stand by your side,
during those times you need someone.
can I ask you a question?
Am I really a friend of yours?
Or I am just a friend of you
whenever you have no one?
you can't even say hello to me,
and never bothered to ask how am I.
how I miss those days,
those days that you need me.
and maybe I am nothing you now,
maybe I am the only one,
who misses our friendship so much.
I hope you still remember me somehow,
not just every time you need something from me
because I am not a supplier of your needs,
I am a friend of yours,
that no matter how much you ignore me,
I will still love you, my friend.

I'm afraid to love again,
become so happy with the presence of someone,
the last time I fall, shattered me.
The memories still haunts me.
I'm afraid to lose myself again,
loving someone
who will just end up hurting me.
I don't know when will I be ready,
to say "I love you" again to someone.

I don't know what to
I don't know what to feel
I don't know who will listen
I don't know who will understand
I don't know who I am
I don't know how to explain
I don't know where I should be
All I know is my mind is full of things,
thoughts that almost kills me
regrets that starts to haunt me
Nobody understands me,
nobody listens,
I am so tired listening to others,
why can't they even listen to me?
I am so tired,
I don't know if I can still make it
or should I really give up.
I don't know, wishing that somebody will help me.

Way back ago,
I found you.
We made memories together,
some made us happy,
some made us fight with each other,
but it made us stronger.
The destiny is really playing with us,
we really hurt our feelings,
we said hurtful words,
we finally decided to part ways.
We can't really blame each other,
if we treat us now stranger,
Bitter to hear,
I don't wanna see you,
I don't wanna hear you,
I don't wanna be with you,
But I swear it made me better.
It made me realize that people really come and go.
They go because it will make us better, not bitter.

I am glad I finally found my freedom,
A world without you.
A Day I am not depended on you.
A world where we are strangers,
We both know each other's name but not stories.
We pass each other but never greets.
We will never smile to each other again, I know.
We will never getting back together again.
We may have memories with each other,
You can keep it if you want
Or throw it away if you dont.
But I assure you,
I will treasure those stupid seconds of my life I have spend with you.
To be honest, you made me happy and sad.
Thanks for this freedom.