"Dude who keeps doing this?" I say in my head as I rummage through the never ending boxes of nails in aisle 15, the last bay at the end of the aisle on the right hand side. Boxes and boxes of nails, different finishes and colors, red, blue, green, yellow, gray, finish nails, drywall nails, UGH too many for me to care about. Anyway, they're always out of order, flipped upside down and thrown in disarray. It's our job as "loyal Lowes employees" to make sure everything is straight and tidy in the aisles. I know...fun right? As you can tell I'm always ecstatic about doing my job. Aside from the sarcasm, there is one thing I can't stop thinking about, and she's all the way on the other end of the store. Her name's Anika...she's about 5 foot 3,  with gorgeous glowing brown eyes that she guaranteed hates (because everyone with brown eyes does), incredible dark brown hair that she wears down and straightened, falling just past her shoulders and always shimmering of course, pale white skin, but not too pale...just a soft white tone, and sometimes she does this thing with her eyes where she wears a sparkling silver shadow over her lids, that just makes her sparkle even more than she already does. One time, I was standing at the door, greeting people and being goofy and awkward as usual, thinking about how long I'd been standing there and couldn't bare to be there any longer, just as I was about to say I couldn't take it anymore and go switch with someone, along she came...I cracked some stupid joke which she actually laughed at, and I noticed it then...that incredible silver shimmer as she passed, and it just made my stomach sink that much further. Of course too the doors opened right when she passed so that her silky hair flew to the sides like a friggin model. ANYWAY! All I wanted to do was find a way to talk to her, without looking like a creep or a tool and just bumbling my way over there without a plan, and probably just saying hi and asking how she liked Lowes so far...for the fifth time. "Maybe I can go check over there to see if there are sales tags I can take down, or maybe some of her departments returns are mixed in with mine, and I can bring them to her". Brainstorming my plans as I'm rummaging through these forsaken boxes of nails, that the same disturbing old men always ask for. I hear footsteps behind me and think "oh what do ya know?" I'm so sick of it by this point that I don't even turn around to ask if he needs help. They get closer and stop..."hey!" Says a soft, familiar voice. My eyes widen and my stomach jumps, shocked, relieved, and beyond thankful all at the same time. I get up to face her and respond "hey!" with an inviting, yet shy smile. "I was just walking by earlier and I noticed you have music tattoos...do you play anything?" My night is instantly made, and I'm hit with the most overwhelming feeling of "finally" I've ever gotten. "Yeah! I actually play guitar, piano, and sing. Are you into music too?" I ask intrigued, but trying hard not to sound too overly nice or overly anything that would ruin this perfect moment. "*** that's awesomeee, yeah I actually play the flute and I'm really into music too. Who do you listen to?" We continue talking for at least an hour, just talking back and forth about music, our hobbies, school, friends, and only scratching the surface. "Attention Lowes associates, the time is now 9:55, lowes will be closing in 5 minutes. Please make sure to bring your trash to the back, iPhones to the front, and make sure there are no customers in your area." "Ugghhh" she exclaims, "well, I better head back. Hey! Do you have a Facebook? Is it alright if I add you? That would be awesome to send you a couple links from the band I was telling you about earlier." I'm warm, floating, trying so hard not to burst from this feeling inside. "*** yeah definitely! That would be sick! What's your last name?" I respond, in disbelief. "Alright!! It's conti, c-o-n-t-i. I'll talk to you after then!" She says with her calm, but fierce smile, and turns around, and hurries back to her department to close out for the night. As I'm left alone, at the end of aisle 15, in a lowes. However, at the same time, I don't feel alone...but instead, full of hope, full of butterflies that can't be contained, with a smile on my face that feels almost as good, as hers looks.

Have you ever been with people that make you feel a way that words can't express? Almost like time doesn't exist, and you can be young forever. You're frozen in that day, that moment, and it's the only thing that matters. There are no outside forces to distract you or take you away, reality is nonexistent. Obligations may get in the way, but they're irrelevant once you're back in the altered reality that has been created. There's nothing else like it, when you have best friends.

laying in my bed, trying to write this poem
Being in a small town, wishing somewhere bigger and brighter was my home.
A place where people don't sleep.
Where the night owls thrive.
A place where everything is always alive.
I look outside my window and see nothing but darkness and an empty street.
Nothing but one street lamp, how does everyone feel complete?
Do people ever get lonely and want something more?
Doesn't anyone always want an open door?
I want to look out my window, and see action.
Taxi's and people and human interaction.
Not some empty street that's a depressing distraction.
I want something more, bright lights galore, a place where sleep doesn't have to be an option anymore.

Who am I?
Where am I?
Where am I going?

What's my purpose?
What's lifes purpose?
Does purpose have a purpose?

I'm falling, deeper and deeper
It's getting darker and blacker
I can't seem to stop it

Where is the light? What is the light?
Can I find it? Does it exist?
Does anyone else know this feeling?

No, stop. Stop falling, please I can't take it.
Where's the end? Is there an end?
Make it stop!
STOP with the questions! STOP.

I can't take this! I'm going berserk!
My mind is running away from me and I can't stop it.
I'm slipping away, and there's
nothing I can do.
Losing hope, I no longer care if I crash.

Let the bottom envelope me like the wrapper over a lollipop. Swallow me.
I don't care if I hit rock bottom, let it happen.

Just as I'm about to give up and let the darkness swallow me, I hear a voice.

ENOUGH! I've witnessed enough.
Open your eyes, look at yourself.
Your accomplishments, your desires, your life.

Bring it back, connect back to where you belong.
Do you want to just let yourself slip? What are you doing?

You have so much going for you, come back.
Is this what you want?
To let yourself wither away like this?

Give yourself some credit, you're better than this.
Only you can stop the falling.
And you can do so, by opening your eyes.

Realize what you have going for you, get out of your rut.
Listen to what I'm saying, look at the good in your life.
You don't have to fall like this.

Do you understand why I punished you?
Do you understand why you were falling?
Letting your head, mind, doubts control you, will defeat you.

So from here I let you go, as long as you learned your lesson.
Control your mind before it controls you.
Or you will keep falling deeper and deeper, and ultimately get to a point of no return.

So, my job is done.
Yours is simple,
Open your eyes.

An overwhelming blast of light fills what feels like my soul and cleanses my mind, I'm awake. My mind isn't racing, I'm not falling into blackness, I'm just...still.

I found the light, or...the light found me.

I'm at peace, and that's how I'll stay.