Darkness crossed the road
Held out his arms for me to hold
I jumped in and cried "You're my only friend"
When will this end?

We saw the light
Fled astray
"We can't go there" the darkness said
Stay away.

I can't see where I am going
I'm not positive of where I have been
Everything I have ever done, has been labeled as one word
Sin.

I can find a friend in you
Just show me the way
Even in the darkness
I will not pray.

"Where is everyone you need them"? I asked
"They were never really there"
Darkness told me the truth
I don't need you.

They found her body;
At the bottom of the ravine.
Said she jumped in the night,
that she never looked back.

I wonder if anyone ever understood her,
I wonder if they even knew her.
Did they know she was hurting?

They did not care that she was gone.
They closed the case and called her dead,
A text book suicide, no victims remained.
Call the morgue and have her tagged.

I wonder if they knew,
About all those she hurt when
she died and left them behind.

Comfort the sobbing parents,
Watch her sibling misunderstand,
Send the family away,
And never think of her again.

I scratch at my rib cage
Nails clawing at my skin
As if I could scrape away
The extra weight I feel I've gained

It's like the devil's inside of me
He's disfiguring my bones
I fall to my aching knees
God make him leave me alone

Trapped inside my eyes I'm  screaming
The numbers on my scale are screeching
Their maniacal laughter devours my dreams
Someone save me I'm afraid to sleep


-ARI

You know you are in love when

You go out for a great meal and nothing
On the menu appeals more than
His/her lips...

You are kissing him/her and
A tiger comes up to lick your
Hand (tasting?) and you don't
Even notice...

The thought of him/her
Sends a thrill through your
Entire body...

When you are around your
Other friends they tease you for
Being a bore because all you
Talk about is him/her...

You see him/her across the street
And rush headlong into
Oncoming traffic...

The mustache on her lip
Only serves to make you want
To kiss her MORE!

You love to run your fingers
Through his hair...
Even though he has more
On his BACK than on
His head!

It's been 20 years and the above
Is still true!

the hurt hurt hurt please make it stop i cant breathe anymore i wanted to call you at one fifteen this morning when i wanted to die but i knew you would just hang up or tell me to ******* so i texted him god knows why i choose him he helped some but ten minutes later i was worse and worse and im internalizing everything and im going to explode god i want to die last night i drew up five separate plans for suicide im not sure which i want to try this time but im so done with hurting my breakdowns and panic attacks are more frequent and i dont know when it was last this bad and im scared i cant compete with all the things dragging me down i dont know how to get back up and im scared so scared i want to **** myself but i cant but i might but i dont know anything i want to run away from everything but everything always follows me and i dont know how to stop the cold blood that somehow keeps pumping though my heart has stopped i feel like the dry leaves in the fall no matter what you try to do what i try to do i end up in more pieces so much so that you cant recognize me or put me back together yeah i feel like that nothing and everything and too many and im so alone empty gone gone gone make the pain stop i beg of myself but ive always been such a *******