tell me why your eyes are closed again
your hands are tied, you can't listen
your words and all the time you spent
your "soft and sweet," your "innocent"

they call you madness luring in
deception's home that never ends
a sleeping devil, angel's friend
the one whose evil lurks within

your sainthood is a counterfeit
you mimic gods and envy them
like stone you never break or bend -
you are regret, you are my sin.
-aprilxcv

release me
i am shaking with broken wings just beneath the rafters of your home
shifting shapes and twisting arms to find a basement in my bones
stuck in boxes with no top to hold the mess that i've become
another scar, a second lover or tale that's just begun
and this is how it will begin: your mess will fill my broken ends,
our stories start the same, my friend - we suffer for our own commends.

i didn't want to freak you out, but i have to say:
everyone you love will tear you down
and before you know it, you will hardly remain--two empty cigarette boxes and a well-worn frown.
-aprilxcv

Dearest,
Killing yourself would be easy
But missing out on the next Stephen King novel would not.
Imagine the ******* you'd never have,
And the video games you'd never play.
They just put Megaman in the new Super Smash,
So he may be getting a new game soon.
Think of how many viewings of Back to the Future
You'll miss out on,
The indie concerts you'll never attend.
I want you to picture your perfect, glowing effigy of manhood
And now I want you to see him
Caressing your cheek
And pressing his lips all down your spine
Because this time two years ago
I wanted to be in a hole
With maggots eating my skin
And now it is lit on fire every night
By his touch.

Don't think of your family,
Your friends,
Think of yourself.
Be as selfish as a member of AA
And as resilient as one, too.
For I have felt the hot breath of depressive temptation
And anxiety bubbling in my tendons
But I overcame.
And even if no one else says it to you today,
I believe in you.

Think of all those cups of coffee with cigarettes
You'll be missing out on
And you'll never get to read the sequel to Fight Club
That's coming out soon.
Remember the book stores you'll never smell
And all the record shops
You'll never get to laugh at hipsters in.

Breathe and keep breathing
And I swear you will live
And find beauty.