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  Aug 2017 Jack Jenkins
Grey mirror
No you are not weak,
You chose to commit
Then you say it was out of your league.
No don't say you aren't ready.
You went with the flow when it was steady.
It was only because you lost the will,
For with commitment comes sacrifice.
To you that was too big a prize
to pay.
And indolence decided to stay,
And you preferred it that way.
But don't you ever say you are weak.
For commitment involves more than strength.
**It needs your will.
Then only it can be fulfilled.
If you are committed to anything, be it faith, relationship, work, art, music. Don't give in to laziness, and don't blame weakness. All you need is the will power to push you towards the goal.
Jack Jenkins Aug 2017
I need to accept that you're gone,
not coming back into my life;
to accept the reality that
you were another casualty
I couldn't prevent
couldn't stop...

I can't stop counting the days,
not the weeks or months, but days
that have passed without so much
as a whisper from your heart;
I can't stop breathing your aroma,
the memories that stab my dreams...

I hope & pray you are happy
found somebody who loves you
a fraction as much as I did;
I hope your family is okay
that there was forgiveness &
mending in the days since...
I hope you're okay

I love you always...
I can't bear to see how long it has been, though I continually count the days...
Jack Jenkins Aug 2017
There's a spit of land where I live
Jutting out into the water, the strait
It's rocky, but has beaches, too
Lots of feral housecats live there
Breeding for years, now....

This place is where my innermost thoughts and feelings
get explored by my broken mind and heart;
heart... just a cavern anymore...
filled with the bones of too many dead friendships
dead relationships
dead friends
dead lovers
why is death such a common thing in my life anymore?

The rising tide wraps around my ankles but I stay in place
standing there staring at the country across the strait
the mountains I've never climbed and I wonder why;
why do I feel so hopeless and destitute anymore?
Why do I bother living anymore when all I know is pain?
How come I feel like I'm drowning from the inside out?
the water is to my knees

I've loved three women in my life
tried to love a dozen more but couldn't
tried to save a hundred souls and can't
so I cry in a pillow at night
I cry standing here and now
salty tears mixing with salty water
just a drop in the ocean I can't change
why can't I change my life?
why can't I make things right?

I keep building up walls but the water pours over
up to my neck and I'm still standing still
I'm a statue with a stone heart,
no,
a stone shell of a heart
cuz I invited hell to my heart
I lost my start
and there's no restarts
High tide fills my lungs
just close my eyes and let it happen
I can write death, but love is beyond me...
  Aug 2017 Jack Jenkins
LS Martin
He almost liked her
She almost waited
With all that they were  
They almost made it
And bright would have been the burning of there star had it not faded
Jack Jenkins Aug 2017
I don't have anybody
                    and I understand I never
really had anybody
Jack Jenkins Aug 2017
I'm not sure why you're on my mind today
I don't know how my heart can miss you
after the grievous wounds you cut in me
Still suffering from that
Because you killed not only my trust in you
but you've made it impossible for me to trust anyone else
the same way I trusted you.

You were my best friend
the closest companion I ever had
You were a good and loving person once
your presence in my life an insurance that people
were worth fighting for
Though I am still in love with you always
you can never have a place in my heart
or my life

*I'm so sorry...
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