My mind is frayed
Making me miss the days
I used to self-medicate
Didn't have to hesitate

Those days are far away
Sobriety making a lengthy stay
And it makes me manic
Paralyzed in an unending panic

Honestly I feel like ****
Calm and composed for a bit
Then hopelessly falling
Substances are calling

And it's ****** up
That I'm stuck up
Left confused and alone
Not to mention dangerously prone

To hatred and deprivation
Brutalized on the verge of starvation
I'm on a downward streak
Feeling more and more weak

So my pen bleeds words
That no one has ever heard

Save me from sleeping
Save me from nightmares
Show me love worth keeping
Show me a heart that truly cares
Stay and keep me up all night
Stay and keep me craving
Share in this fight
Share a life worth saving

On the brink of mental collapse
And I wish that I would
Or that I could just relapse
Back to a mask and a hood
A smoke filled mind
Apathy as perfection
Leaving the rest behind
Cleaned out like an infection
Washed away with relief
My wounds are stinging
As I sill hold some belief
That somewhere bells are ringing
Though I have forgotten why
I continue to ponder
Or even continue to try
As back into darkness I wander
To search for happiness unknown
Or contentedness I've never been shown

My mental health
Is far from sane
Books on the shelf
For days of rain
But I lose track of days
Caught up in the haze
Of the days that I miss
Far from my old bliss
Filling my days with pain
And so I sit in the rain
Waiting for puddles to grow
Into mirrors with my reflection
But even as I stare I'll never know
The reason for my mind's infection
Wishing puddles were lakes
So I could jump in and drown
Escape all the heartaches
See no sights and hear no sound
But the music in my head
Softly, sweetly pronouncing me dead

I don't
love you
anymore.

But don't
take it
so hard.

Simply
put I
don't love
at all
anymore.

Day after passing day
We hear the cars go through
We sit alone and pray
For something to be new
But it is what it is
I sip my drink and he sips his
And in the end I'm sad because
I drank twice the beer and only got half the buzz

Save me
I can't
You see
This rant
As crazy
My mind
Is hazy
Please find
My solution
In confusion
Each line
Only two
Not fine
Without you

Depression
Repression
Obsession
Confession

All of these things
Are in the silent song my soul sings

If I died
Would you miss me?
If I lied
Would you forgive me?
If I love you
Would you love me?

I put One above you
Who do you put above me?

If I hate myself
Would you hate with me?
If I find joy above all else
Would you celebrate with me?
If I'm lonely
Would you stay with me?
If I let sin own me
Would you pray with me?

I somehow enjoy the pain
Of countless needle ******
Like I love to watch the rain
As it falls on my window and sticks
The outcome worth the process
So much more than I can express

We spend so long
Telling kids what not to do
Warning them of what is wrong
What is "bad for you"

"Don't drink alcohol"
"Don't do drugs"
They drive you off the wall
They make you violent thugs

This method makes me furious
Feed them information
Then tell them not to be curious
Wonder what's wrong with this nation?

We don't let people be
Be themselves for once
So *******, sincerely, me
You legalistic dunce

In my darkest nightmare
In the mirror I stare

I see my mouth stitched shut
My eyes glazed and wrists cut

No one around to see my pain
My tears and muffled cries in vein

Because I am more alone
Than I have ever known

Feeling nothingness gripping
Feeling my life now slipping

I whimper one last time
I write my one last rhyme

Lie on the floor awaiting death
And take my final fading breath

Her eyes express longing you cannot fathom
You try so very hard to cross that chasm
Knowing nothing else matters but reaching her
You dream of the day that connection will occur
She is something you can't and won't define
She is the definition of what you need
In the distance a hazy and vague outline
And somehow because of her your soul is freed
You miss her though she was never truly yours
As from your open mouth your broken heart pours
Words that try to capture that image so faint
She is a picture you could not ever paint

These are the nights I used to drink away
Sitting alone in my prison cell
But I am trying to stay sober every day
Still stuck in my own solitary hell
I want so badly to break free
I want to let loose all my dreams and nightmares
For everyone to see
But I honestly don't know that anyone cares
My skin itches and my body aches
And every day I hear that abuse calling me back
To stay here and stay safe is what it takes
To keep it all from fading to black
I struggle to even think that I can make it
Through this trial I choose
To continue to fake it
But I can't afford to lose

Dreary
Drizzly
Days
Drowning
Dilapidated
Daisies