i have nothing left but these pills of mine
bottoms up

America, you are corrupt
America, you feed fuel to the fire that diminushes the lower class
America, why are you so obsessed with power?
America, why do you insist on shaming the human body?
Is it because the government is scared of being naked itself?
That if the government let some skin show all its secrets would show with it?
America, why most you antaognize me?

America, why are you so obsessed with war?
America, you don't need to be so obsessed with war.
Your manhood is so offended that you take all the men from their hoods and send them off to fight in your pity wars.
America, land of the brave.
America, land of the men who are so terrified of the color red that all they see is red.
Red, white and blue.
America, are you a communist?

America, why can't I smoke some trees in peace?
America, you cut down trees:
Are we any different?

America, are we any different?
You and your Americans shame everything that isn't white
No wonder it took so long to perfect the color television
America, why do you hate rainbows
You'd have it rain like bombs before you'd let in a new kind of beautiful
America, you are not beautiful
America, you are not beautiful
America, look into the eyes of the American people and take a look at your own reflection
America, you can be beautiful.
America, you truly can be beautiful
America, one day I hope you are beautiful

Sometimes I sit and wonder about the past.
I reflect and let it affect my present- my future-
It makes me wonder if I can ever really put it past me.

Sometimes- most times- I sit and think about what you did to me.
I was never this angry until I met you, I had never lost my temper over the slightest of issues.
My anger was locked in a cage, like a lion in a den, away from all walks of life, because it was too ferocious
too loud, too dangerous to let loose.

You made me feel like a lion.

You made me feel like a lion, but told me I was a butterfly.
You were adding extra security to the cage while making me thinking you were trying your hardest to pry it open.
You forced me to believe that you, and only you, could ever love someone like me-
A lion- I mean butterfly.

I refer to you as my ex-girlfriend even though I can still feel your words caress my skin.
Even though every time I see a picture of you or hear your name my heart still skips a beat,
even though it still feels like I'm a lion, trapped in a cage, as if you still have a hold on me.

I still refer to you as an ex-girlfriend even though you never acted like it.
You told our friends that I was frail- too fragile to hold- too hard to love,
But before you, I was gorilla glass- protective and strong,
But you made me feel like a lion and told me I was a butterfly, so my default mode began to play second fiddle.

I don't think I want you back.
I'm starting to find happiness in others,
Solitude only comforts me when I can feel my anger- the lion within me, trying to break free from the cage.
I've met someone who tells me I'm a beautiful,
Someone who is trying to help me break free from the cage without tearing my claws off.
Who lets me know I am a lion, but I could be a butterfly, and that either or is okay.

I hope that whomever you decide is worthy to join the circus you've declared yourself the lion tamer of is strong enough to say no and walk away.

You may not know this
but sometimes when the silence seems to cut through the night
when the dark seems to swallow everything but my thoughts
I can't help but look for you
and once the sun begins to rise
once the light begins to beam
I still find myself looking for you
And as I sit here with my head buried in this poem
you walk by and caress my cheek
I shiver
I see you
but I haven't found you
and that scares me
cause what if while I’m looking for you
you're off in the darkness looking for me too