I have missed
out on the thrills
of being a soft place
between a rock
and a hard place
which is a bad boy

I was afraid
of becoming a toy
a welcome mat,
stepped on repeatedly
covered in dirt
and worthlessness

because of fear
I found myself
held hostage to boring love
with good guys
who in the end
only proved
to be ugly lies

which led
to my beautiful cries
in the end,
I should have taken my chances
with the handsome devils
who were at least good at dancing!

it was at it's peek when i was with you
cherishing every conversation and every syllable
our bond was perfect and needed nothing additional

i wanted to be a part of your journey
although ur life wasn't perfectly pearly

fights with your dad
watching you turn mad
calming you down was the power i had

i was never bothered
your love was enough and was what you had offered

my mind is a board game
my feelings are like the dice ready to be tossed
and in the end, i feel though i have lost

the first move that sparked the connection.
i began to gain affection
thinking of him was nothing but perfection

i became a victim of your love
and i could never ever get enough
ur silence hurt me more then violence
ur my drug
i keep crawling back for more
your unhealthy toxic
i wanted to believe the love we had was firm
trying to text you like we are on good terms
i lost myself through this all
your smiling while watching me fall
i've tried and tried
people tell me to stop wasting my time
they say saving our love is just like saving a crime
a small part of me still has hope
hope that doesn't seem to fade away