my thoughts are strangling me
they've tied a noose
and are ready to kick the chair out from under me
my hands are bound behind my back
and the fight I thought I had
has completely drained from a lack
of comfort and hope of a solution from death
so I better not fight it
a fight not worth fighting
because if I fight and I win
who's left to keep me from dying?

that last breath you took,
was it for me?
or did you waste it begging for bravery?

grounded, am I,
in these worn out shoes
soulless and hole strewn
just like my heart too
is broken in like these old shoes
wanderlust on my tongue
and insanity on my lips
I cry in my sleep like an addict on a bad trip
but my mind is clear as I gaze out my window
whisper sad songs as I draw in the fog with my fingers
I am gone, so gone,
I wish I could stay here,
but these soulless and hole strewn shoes
have plans to get away, dear

I want to wander among the leaves
that have fallen so carefully around me
they haven't hindered who I am
but they have showed me a new path
and I want to find where it's twists and turns end
beneath the snow and throughout my bones
I'm lost on this new path to an uncertain home
and I'm left without a reality to ground me
only to rely on something so far outside of me
I feel so alone with this emptiness that surrounds me
only filling each hole when I'm threatened to drowning

the moon is my only friend.
in darkness I pretend.

I will never be the perfect time piece.
always early, sometimes late.
I won't keep you detained
by my hands on your heart.

unless you want me to.

each second will seem longer than the last
and I can't promise that
it won't get tricky
being my wrist.

I'm so unhappy
being this being
of unresolved
uncomforts and broken
unrealistic dreams
of wanting to be a new
something without a way
of becoming
it's this pain so deep
even I can't reach it
in a place where only I can feel it
and I smile and wave
while people say
"wow, she looks so happy"
but I fake so much
I almost think it's real
and then I'm reminded
with a tear stained window
that I've never been so unhappy