the problem is,
I never really wanted to be loved.
held and kissed,
maybe.
but my heart has always been my own.
cherished by no one.
only crushed when hope was
left to roam.

all the pretty people
with pretty little faces
fake little hearts
and interrupting gazes
laughing away empty tears
loaded guns whisper in their ears
bottles of pills, personally filled
fake pretty people in millions of pretty pieces

drop me in the ocean,
let my arms wave.
let me drown
in the waters uncharted
and regained.
balloons floating above me,
filled with my unconscious dreams.
I struggle and tug at the strings strangling me

my feet are on backwards
but I'm still moving forward.
in an uneven pattern
I leave the old behind.
but the new ahead
doesn't seem that grand.
it's losing it's appeal
all the time.

falling out of love with you
was like falling asleep.
first slowly and then all at once.

I'm glad we like the same things.

drink the same drinks.
sing the same sings.

laugh the same laughs
and eat the same eats.

I'm glad we learned to love the same things.

we are nothing but lights
dancing through an illuminated night.

tangled feet beneath our legs
we spin and crash in different ways.

our laughs echo through invisible walls
chasing us down abandoned halls.

youth behind us and death in our eyes
I always imagined a different way to die.