im still alive
sorry to disappoint

My love
I only think of you when it rains
I remember your face
In the light of my fish tank
Your silhouette is still painted
Against the outline of my window
I will not break
Until that fades

Because I can still feel your eyes
Locked on mine
You captured me
I'm still trapped in your cage
Existing in a moment
That no longer exists
Back when it was just you and I
Sitting alone
At this table for two
In the back of the school
Laying on the grass
When I got so close to kissing you

I'm still there
Locked in our nest that we built
In the woods behind my house
I can feel the sticks
Poking through our mossy bed
Just like I can still feel your arm
On my side
The first time we fell asleep
You right next to me
Laying on the floor
Of our best friend's house

I can still sense your heartbeat
And stickiness of my thighs
As we cuddled up in my loft
As you held me tight
You fell asleep in my bedroom
And all the soft sounds you'd make
Still echo in my ears
Holding me for days

Oh, love
Please never stop raining
When the sky clears
And the ground dries up
I might forget you
And where would that leave me?

Affection for you I can't undo,
Adhered to you like a tattoo.
I'm a substitute, I know.
Hard for me to let-go.
Painful to dry the ink you dipped into.

The truth is
I don't want to ever stop thinking about you
But I have to
Or else I won't fall asleep at night
Or if I do
I'll dream only of your eyes
I don't want to think of you like that

And at some point
One of us has to look away
The world won't stop spinning
For our less than platonic moments
We need to move on
You surely seem to have no trouble
But I can't tear my gaze away
From your retreating form

Those glimpses I catch
Of you sitting in class
Might as well be poison
Injected straight into my veins
The softness of your hair
The outline of your face
Is a drunk tattoo in the front of my brain
One I can't erase

You're my heroine
Take or leave the "e"
And I might be a willing addict
But I'll go to rehab eventually
I'll force your face to fade
Covered up with inky flowers
Scattering my legs

I'll leave your eyes
Turquoise and green
You can watch me from the bushes
Peeking out from between the leaves
Like a fairytale character
I bet I'll wonder who you were
And what you meant to me