Dissappeared as if a dark cloud decayed the body in a matter of miliseconds and disposed of it somewhere unknown.  Never did I see a single sign of being psychologically sick.  Not one piece of evidence to prove her existence. Multiple memories of her wither away slowly.  No discernment  to the delphian disappearance.  Very vague memories of her,  perhaps she was a vision.  Maybe,  just maybe my imagination  had gone too far with my mind. No! Her disappearance  was real;  but due to her irrelevance,   and exodus she was forgotten in the conscious  mind of others. Maybe its time that I finally forget about the phantom that haunts my memories, and makes me question my sanity.  Gone she is,  and gone she will be.  So the acknowledgment of her existence  is Irrelevant.  She is now,  and forever has and will be nonexistent. -V.H.

I am much too alone in this world, yet not alone
    enough
to truly consecrate the hour.
I am much too small in this world, yet not small
    enough
to be to you just object and thing,
dark and smart.
I want my free will and want it accompanying
the path which leads to action;
and want during times that beg questions,
where something is up,
to be among those in the know,
or else be alone.

I want to mirror your image to its fullest perfection,
never be blind or too old
to uphold your weighty wavering reflection.
I want to unfold.
Nowhere I wish to stay crooked, bent;
for there I would be dishonest, untrue.
I want my conscience to be
true before you;
want to describe myself like a picture I observed
for a long time, one close up,
like a new word I learned and embraced,
like the everyday jug,
like my mother's face,
like a ship that carried me along
through the deadliest storm.

I lost myself a century ago, you enchanted me with your egocentric smile and your eyes that glimmer, only to leave me hanging like your favorite movie you gave away because you already knew every line from tip to toe, you replaced me and I was too broken and blurred to even hesitate so I just walked away but kept looking back because anyone whose ever loved you or has the slightest idea of how truly fascinating you are is aware of how absolutely twisted it would be to let go of you.
My biggest desire is for me to be half as incredible as you know you are and maybe then you would think twice before letting me go into my own tomb.
You signed my death sentence when you uttered the words that burned my throat smashed my bones and left me wishing I was somewhere in Mars.
And not even there, in that deserted planet that inhales awkward girl's dreams and exhales them because they are far too ridiculous for the real world while dying from the lack of oxygen and the intense heat that came in through the lips you once kissed and made a tour through my broken self only to permanently stay in my shattered lonely heart, not even then had I preferred to be conscious when you chose her over me, rejecting me forever.

I will stand in the shadow of the sun which burns a scar
on the back of people who like
to shift in the shadows of the night
and  blame everybody for giving them a homeland
for their excuses.

I will stand where the teargas
melts my eyes and the batons write their scars
on my coloured skin
because I asked for bread.

I will stand in the light and hum
my soulful music that echoes off
the walls of pop charts and make
everybody dance because they do not
understand my words.

I will stand in the pools of streetlights
and sell my body, my baby, my beauty-
because nobody cared
to ask  me a human question on want.

I will stand before God
and question why he taught me
the language of  worship
amd wisdom to know the difference
between skin and colour  and asking
and read the book he has to offer
that says the truth in so many pages.

I will stand alone.
I will stand alone.

Author Notes
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© Marshall Gass. All rights reserved.