All in all is it just a matter of time ?
Speaking to me in the easy breathes of sighs
I fear no sirens in my house of light
Even shadows of light cast pictures of



Negative space, speaking for itself
         Oh to  
B.  b. b.       Be where you can
See inside windows , of pentacles
             Simple opportunity
To reverse the hanged man, in the shadows
             Of the corners of the ceiling


But how this sets in as normal
And my fingers flow immortal
I can venture inside the vines
And uncover the sleeping Buddha
As long as the blue hovers over
My Nirvana , above and beyond hope
Home,
             Speaking now,
                                        with a smile.

I never meant to hurt you
Didnt ever want to be the one
Some dreamers are innocent like you
Strategy their favorite , heart blind
Never wanted to be your beast
I dont want to only see you sometimes
I'll never be able to not let you chose
It isn't even up to me as a choice
Fate comes down in acid rain drops
This statue fades away every time
No reason to save face

Or temptress
Ascend this
Obsession
Not alone
Stressing
A blessing
Guessing
Head strings
Lessons
Dont mention
Etching

You are the Tethys sea.
When all the worlds land is together,
you are the rest.
The endless blue without boundaries,
sounds like you.

im rotting dead in a pit.
im glad you helped me dig.
i just wish it was more big.
im greedy even in death.
leaving right here, im sent.
punctuation for a hypocrite.
snorting lines, leaving my heaven sent.

the god I love
doesnt hate me for anything
nor do i need to ask his forgiveness ever
sometimes he shakes his fist because i do things
burn my speeding ticket, "on accident"
its only ironic when youre on trial

ive got heads where fingers belong
ive got sharks that swim in salivary glands
ive got a whole world inside my head
weve both got five points to our fists

the world i love is bright enough for this life
heavens an un-necesity and a  compartment for the beggars
my blood bleeds downstream
my **** is the dankest around
i know when my deaths close
the more the world welcomes me the further i get from my home
ive spent a couple centuries trying to find an angel

one day i looked down and saw the shadow of it
and i started wishing i wasnt afraid of heights

I know you, thats why you know me
We've had enough time to ourselves
I threw knives in the circus-
Got in an argument with the lion
My boss is the only one who tamed him
So I got in a fight with my boss

I took my knives
and left - west
I know you know -why you know me
is a mystery
but I still remember your address
from all those postcards I would Send
I never told you that,
I threw knives

So heres my money and the death of me
since you never replied
                                         This is for your home
I dont live there anymore.

Under a bold lettering of pinholes
  A night time sky cast in early essence
Lay - infog.the remains of a broken bell
  Hidden in a lost hum of silence,
   The first cries- a grebe or grieve..
For the time to rest our eyes is over
The blue starts to show again, slowly
Whats waiting in an envelope,
Fortune cookie type numbers odometer
Coffee
Our radio kicking back into itself
Folk take buses , trains, automobiles
Some walk- others sleep
And i . Breathe
And cough
Put my shoes back on
Come to a stop to-
Wait in line for a cigar
Go home and climb sore, not soar
Aching- into the only bed i long for
My dreams

ash in my mouth
hot mother *******
burning embers
in my mouth
you used to be
daily a routine
when did it end
when did it begin
skin the epitaph
characters inkd in

separated at birth
living life looking
glass works
setting change all its
fires
hookers
and worth

Persuaded by wonton doubt
While wanting to live again
Inebreation, a deadly device
Sure I can sit in solitude
But only in the past...
It is gone like betrayed comradyery
How it was so indigenous to my species
But now is so lost upon different faces

Tonight my friend said
How come the weirdest things
Happen to you ?

It made me more sad
How it was a question
But yet one without an answer
Except
Me

My brains not scattered on the wall
Just because im special.
And i have friends
How selfish right?
Oh well i guess we all have a right to live
God given? Sure. Right to the pursuit of happiness?
I persistantly sure as ****
Hope to god thats true

Oh well
All is biding in due time
Will happiness come from pen strokes?
Or the stamping of pitter pattering letters?
All I knows is that it will come from my hands
Even tho the only way i relieve tension
From soul and body
Is by screaming or singing out the hole
In the front my peripherals? Hobby?
Maybe
Calling of an egotistical standing
Singing for myself feels more becoming

Sea ore,
I am vain and think I am an omnificent
Creator
Of my own happiness
Decider of my own destiny


Defeat

Every day you can go there
Even if its ten in the morning
Someone will ask with a drugged slur

Can you help me find my name?
We sell English ?
We sell coffins ?
But We dont sell nails ?

Make your skin crawl any time
licking all them ******* toads.
Equated to a near death experience

slowly getting naked week by week to the 80s
book of mormon distance of irony apart from you
french texts in between, growing with this something

but then there it  is yet again, that silence fuss and distance
yet we are on the west side, rocks and the ship wreck among them
sipping clementine breeze through iv simple, should be eating but I just am
used to have energy for two, strangled by the telephone chords all bogged down and
i don't know why i , feel so tongue tied , i don't know why i feel so hidden deep down inside

This night sounds as good
As certainty ever could
Giving waves of happen stance

I'm isolating that smile
Ill let it hang around like smoke
Let it last as long as it wants

4 that is what i have named by pen
and its ink is no longer blood
im writing with my breath now
for the life blood has run dry
and my breathing will carry me to my dying day

i am just an observer of the city of angels
and constant danger
thinking calis just wine and ******* but
it aint **** if we aint together
its me passing by a vagrant to the love
and what it is to them

i just want you to be grateful to love your hood
and let me know if its not allgood
so here i am trying to hit the studio to immortalize
youve got to be there to know it
youve got to coorperate with god in your eyes
what everyone wants to see
is me to live and die in la
to live and die in la

its so what if i hate you
i still want you to take care
out of all fake love brought us
i just miss the way you stare
at me like you think ill stare back
now its impossible for you to do that
its hardest when i breathe out
all of the air from my lungs
while clinging to the bottom
of this lake trying hard to die from
either this pressure or whatever
this death brings first to measure
how much water i can keep in my lungs
its brought me nothing now
holding onto love like life
its so simple living now
life like the steady breeze
i am coming out of the water
a new man for living now
they said i can choose
anywhere i want to haunt
but i chose the same spot
where i used to kiss you
when i would walk you home
now every visitor that we get
gets this strange feeling
that i never had. of not being alone.

babe i didnt dance for reckoning.
i chanted for it and with my brethren
at the time: hand in hand on the hill

tasting carnal lust for the first night
we kissed to romance andto redwine
smoking out of the finest  rosemary and most potent tyne
i wish i could dream of my new love
because i found a brand new rose
and i got her good like the gods
they thought i deserve it i would
**** it up on the first time it came
to town because my baby well
she dont want me right now.
i just dream of you or less scary things maybe a funeral for two.
she says i scare her well just as well
i only have seven years
to live and die on this planet of hell

4 when i go to heaven. 777
i aint taking any angels with me
and its just as well   666

but imagine one could save me
an unstoppable redemption
i appreciate beauty in grandeur
divinity but yet i am banned in heaven - life is subliminal
i could be a blade for these seven
years maybe even for the Lord himself
would sin be outweighed by all of that death  
and that when i sit in purgatory
waiting to meet my makers
i got the chance to fill out an application
just like for one of my regular day jobs
it said apply to do it all over again
there would be only happiness
guilt free or worries negativities
and sorries. well BabyGirl i wouldnt
i would only start anew
and be different than you saw me
depending on how i saw you
from your video tape
depending on the look on your face
the nights i held you in our firey embrace
and determine if that was just
****

Be on the ambiance
Beyond the ambulance
Free on the other wind
Bleed out the open wound
Beast our burden open wine
Ticking clocks seizing
Second hand sinking
Serenade the sadness

Last night at dinner, I pointed at a picture
and it fell down from across the restaurant.

The management stood around shocked
wondering who pried it from its screws.

It was me, with anger and with deep hate
for understanding  I dont have of you.

I wanted all the frustration to leave me
go from my heart into my fingertip n out!

Why you think us remains impossible
to even simply be friends that talk.

When will you **** yourself
?
I heard its soon, but when?

What life will you be better in?
Princess I hate hating you

but next time I'm a child,
and depending on our age

Ill ******* again,
but ill be the one leaving.

wind doesnt move me like it used to flickering candle bought for hope, who
Is remedy of sugargoods and drinking? --being alone when you get home.
I miss the feeling of comfort fooling me
As if this dream would last all daylong
Regurgitating validation like song
As if i actually believed in us.
While you are too busy
Romanticizing worth.  

Life- i am in love with you
But i hear you are insane
So I sleep in

I guess you really can not forgive me
in this beautiful country of yours
for I hold you so dearly, under those
Canadian stars, sure we may dream
miraculous things, but weight on
these feathers and waning wings
serpentine jealousy, babe, not envy
please, leave, me, be, innocent, of
steam, send onto me Jesus Christ
Girl, i need someone to clarify biblically
did the catholic we knifed, deserve
to call me a worthless being, or will i find him
in prison like everyone finds him I'm just
happy its 20 14, when Tupac  is to be reborn
Judge his reasonings were, my Mother didn't raise me
Catholic, her mother did want her Mothers
Mother , to have not wanted to raise her
Daughter, catholic, in the snow, with a tune
for you, waiting at the St, Stephen Torro Cemetery
Holden , your best friends broken rosary/broken nose
Pope Francis, we came to opposite levels of holy,
Heaven or Hell only knows, over standing does not exist
Mathew 6 Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

dew drops and sprinkler smells
flood my streets- naked in the middle
song birds hover around your halo

faking cries of distant land of Aberdeen
come as you are, hero wrapped in cellophane
does Satan love me being an alcoholic ?

Sunset on the earths saliva
Stick to the roads a snail trail
Wriggling inside like worms
Cant turn off the terror nerves
Nervous as never known nursing
An infant hidden in the closet
Fall asleep waiting for dreams
A ghost in the wire , fiending
Blanket wrapped around you
Naked on the porch , long night
Long sunrise , reflecting off the pool

I miss the rain Like
I miss your face while
Sewing seeds of anger
Can't harvest the love
I am a child of light
A man of darkness
All emotions lead
Out of balance

can't touch the light this time
but its alright, its alright
handing torches of our time
yeah its our time
never or for now; find
that we sing together
and pray for no one
they are all fine in theyr ways

love the light inside of you
not the illumination that casts
shadows on our face
i remember before i knew
i look like you
heal to cleanse the soul

it stings
it feels its way
in

forcing,
im sorry
forcing
im sorry for this
forcing

im not sorry for wanting
but im so sorry for needing

Eye spine a different nine, stolen time
Tombstones compliment our skyline
A coffin slipping itself into its grave
Shallow dirt under the cement
Did she find what she was looking for?
A shadow slips behind the stage
Vacant household in a silent silhouette
Masterpiece purchased for its frame
A Head mounted on a wooden plaque
Taxidermist trophy husband - prideful
Mistaken muse entropic groping
"I want you inside me "
Vored perception of a lustful vivisection - a pause
My keys- the door

My favorite band ended yesterday
does the world hold it together?
vibration for me to never dance to
feel my favorite stitch of time.
please sit with me now
as i lay my head on your leg,
squint my eyes and try to recount
back to the days, i had figured it out
i like dreams, so i should live in music.

Let me eat your heart out

It's not that I wasn't happy before
I was but I didn't understand happiness
Now that it's gone I feel like an endless pit
Something someone would choke on
Poison to all that feel my presence.

Nothing to do but continue to die
Life without the sun isn't all that bad
I just don't have anywhere to hang my head
Feel endless in their warmth and hands
Losing strength losing myself on my path

Failing topics and endless sunburst
Green stained bronze, for this ball room chatter
Dreams of you on the mezzanine
Coming down the stairs happy to see me
Yet now they have reversed. It is you
Who can not come upstairs, house of proper
My wife giving akward glances from over her shoulder ,

Old friends , and ***** dens
Memories hidden inthe dust and murk
Wallow in squalor , under the decks of a high hoisted ,
Eleven white painted canvas for a tall ship
Cutting lukewarm Mediterranean seas
Falling tropics, and sand breeze
Dry humidity, salty clothes, silence over the wind

Hailing a cab
The splashing of more important things around me, a chill ness that kisses my entire face up and down, runs her sleek January nothing through my hair.
Saving fair a block early to get a bite to eat
Fair weather traveller heading home to his hole
Digging to come out the turnstile
Old habits / catching the subway.

Merry weather fan, snacking on peanuts
Glancing out the window, over your nervousness
How high do planes fly? 35000 feet and you've never looked better, smiles shaking hands with each other.  Strangers , every time
Experiencing life in second sight.

I keep making plans to disappear
Sometimes they become a part of me
Something that i might not understand
Why do i want to become that man-?
Forced with decisions second hand
Of course what it takes to go to France
Release a virus , or impeach the hands.
What it would take to be that be that and
Not be the same person that i always am
Wake up one day to me gone  and sigh
****

waiting, always  on the wait
for the waves to rise give onto wake
shake me in my sleeping  shell
leave when you feel full

im weighed down full of weight
waiting, always on the  regular
sleep with me  in my waking hours
stay until  you find me.

She makes me vivid
Happy because it is
Beautiful simply because

She gives me kisses
Not hers, they are mine
How uniform this is

We make each other
Happy because we are
Beautiful soulely  because

Defending my self,
against the wall of sound.
It has been know to do
terrible things to a man.
Most that refer to it
fear what they do not understand.
I understand nothing
except for that when our skin touches
our atoms are kissing, and not us.

The door of opportunity

My friend youre not clumsy

The words unspoken killing me

people can accidentally send you pictures
with the love of your life,  living without you
and not think anything of it- what a miracle

I won't mind that she was a hypocrite and isn't around anymore
if you don't mind me talking about her every once and a while
i  try not to but for some reason she messed me up so ungratefully
in you i won't shake so much i won't be so nervous just kidding
instantly i can't believe that i am able to shake out words so easily
i mean finally. i guess I've known you for a year.  this winter tho
is just me getting whoever i have wanted forever and now i am just
in awe that tonight i kissed you i want to keep you, keeping me warm
i won't try or anything , just how this goes and keep talking
in contractions

it was 4 am the baby was kicking
they both wanted mint chocolate chip
which was the only thing
not in the hotels mini fridge
I being the loving father to be
left in my levis from yesterday
the best decision I ever made
was kissing her goodbye

So now here I am in the closet
of the man who ruined our vacation
Alameda trailer home
clutching a vial of heroine
and a pair of pliers

Symbolistic white walls
surround my fate
if i dont pull these teeth
in secret

the villain shakes the whole
**** death trap
opening his lock for the last time
the worst decision he ever made
was locking the door
a few minutes later his hand
scratched at the ****
until the opiates
settled the score
his body now the rag doll,
I wanted to impregnate him
with the love my son could have been
and tear it out of him with the same tools
dangle it from the same floor lamp
that is in an evidence room locker
with my D.N.A. all over it

the worst decision the cops ever made
showing me the list of suspects.  

the worst decision I ever made
was narrowing them down, one by one.

My days were based on whether or not I could not  see you
And we could maybe try to not leave the world to ourselves
Yet near the end  I forgot how much
I wanted to be near you.

Now nights spent forcing myself to not be so alive
Maybe  find a new host.  But i dont. I just am  in some other spine.

This is the feeling I get now for trying to feel alright.
Hell is a the place  that you die and
My sunshine only burns my eyes out at night.

My days were based on whether or not I could see you
And we could maybe try to get the world to ourselves
Yet near the end you forgot how much
I wanted to be with you.

Now their spent forcing myself to not be so lonely
Maybe  make some new friends. But i dont. I just am  in some other life.

This is the feeling I get now for trying to feel alright.
Heaven is a place that you go and
My sunshine only comes out at night.

Last night
While you were drunk
You came to me in my sleep
Just like you always wanted me to
But you were always too innocent
I could tell when you were faking sleep
And i wasn't faking it last night
You really surprised me
Showing up in my dreams
I asked for you
Right before sleep took over

Always the first thought while waking
Do you remember how far you walked?
How many times you tried to fly
used to fly in mysleep till i learned of your fears
Now such a safer approach to risk mystifies
Sleeping all day and night

I left the camera on
it captured the burglar
the ghost and my stalker
one wore my suits
the other used my make up
the other one chilled on the cross

they talked; about me like a saint
they made jokes about my nature
some good, some bad- like i like em
but they all hated my day job

Here is the edge of silence
Sick of time like leaves in the
Blowing away - a people person
Forgiven for follies fickle as ****
Falling frozen in the farewell flame
"*******" she says

caught myself while booking it
to shelter from your cold
stopped to breathe
with hands at my side
and decided to go for my own
warmth. not the absence of you
the lines-can slow me down
I'm not invisible now
      not even tryin to be

but sure dont exist
not in your world
heard the two wont mix
not in this world
i love you like a *****
not that you are in this world

Pure as angels wings
Flutter slowly as breeze
Bitter sweet cacophonies

Finally happy as you leave
Shivers, tingles, part of me
Let you go, living free

Millions of people
With a million reflections
Standing where your feet were
Heading in their own directions
I saw the street as it is now,
and how it was in the middle
Of me and you
Separating the whole room
Since this worlds made for two
With only our favorite colors, and blue
Subsequently just for  me and just for  you

i told you it happened again

no response


take it to the back
punch them in the face
knives begin to show
and now you dont know

what is this inside
what is this pure metal feeling

on the fence, but this is the risk worth death then