Our relationship is always a give and take,
except I always give,
and you always take.

I've got to write poetry; I am full of it.
It fills my lungs & keeps my heart beating I confess & admit;
the words and creations flowing through each vein -
a need, a want, that I just cannot constrain.

The darkness is about to take you
And there is nothing I can say or do
Just remember my friend
Your pain when you die for you might end
But it doesn't disappear
Just where will it land and adhere
How far will the pain you release go
I guess you'll never know

But I will bear witness to your butterfly effect
I will watch the ripples and where they will project
Will your little catipiller hold up under the pain
Will he be able to bear the strain
Or will he fallow in your steps
Spreading more of that butterfly effect

I will bear witness with tears bitting my eyes
As I say my goodbyes
I know I'll get a chunk of your pain to add to my own
I will be counted among the victims that your act has sown

But I will just bite down and bear it, I'll have to
Because my catipillers I won't put thru
That evil butterfly effect
Please my friend before you do, please just sit down and reflect!!!!!

I'm not haunted by horrifying nightmares
I'm reminded of eerie memories that whisper in my sleep

I'm not driven mad by screaming voices in my head
I'm stalked by vivid images that corrupt my past

I'm not demented by the will to die
I'm torn apart by the death of my spirit

I'm not insane
I'm broken

i don't know how long
it has been
since
i shut myself
off from the world
around me

i reinforced
old boundaries

closed the gates
to new acquaintances

stopped talking

i see myself
stepping away
from some old patterns
and people

only the pattern
is
me