on toes right round
conversing with god
the edge very close
almost falling down
when the strawberry
lips of the betweens
came and I came and
all was frozen in the
true sense of the word
she called me  by my
name at the time
superman

I don't have a medical sickness.
I just want to throw up at your face.
I just want to **** the lead out of a thermometer to poison my vital organs slowly.
I just want to crack my head open to see if it's hollow or not; to see how millions of bland thoughts made its way inside my skull.
I just want to scream at your ears
As if I'm being cauterized... Or amputated... Or flayed by a demented surgeon-
As if strapped on a rusty hospital bed,
In a grimy and abandoned hospital building...

I just want to look at my blood sample under the microscope
to make sure it's not crawling with little red demons.
I just want to throw this bowl of hot soup at your paper-gowned skin when you come to check on me...
If I'm still worth reviving,
Or if I'm still worth killing,
Or if I'm still even worth gazing at.

I just want to lie in bed all day-
Feeling like a boiled carrot;
Feeling like a wet dog drooling away under the merciless sun;
Or a creature with no bones.
Feeling like a wilted flower, lost of all its glory...

I just want to stuff my mouth with so many pills and prescriptions,
And pretend to like the idea of dying, self-induced.
I just want to sweat this fever out.

I'm so sick of myself.

I walked with the lion
through smoke filled hostels
rolled up my sleeves
and left my shoes on
as she shook me to my knees
oh Julia,
I've been waiting for a girl like you
to light up the hallways of my addictions
to believe me when no one else believes
and you shocked me
right up my skinny veins
stapled conversations
to the inside of my scattered brain
left me stuttering rhymes
about sleepless nights spent waiting for
her
one white horse
without a saviour
find me, find me
shivering and painted with the teeth marks
of a predator  
whose name I scream
as I am sat alone in my car
in the empty parking lots of London
and if it is this time
that my engine won't start
oh, Julia
find me
and let me show you the calculations of my heart

With manly aggravations he strums-

Strums the rust and the anguish away from the strings.

I saw them, floating away from him; vibrating in midair

Those compositions from his melancholy days,

Echoing...

The notes have, somehow, reverberated through my cathedral soul-

I can feel them.

I could still locate the ringing at the ceiling of my skull.

And if I wish to
I could even feel the faint tremors in my heart-

And realize it's actually pulsating...

But surely, it's just an after shock from the sounds resonating

It would fade away.

Of course it will just fade away.

It would fade away the moment he
stops playing.

... For you couldn't have inflicted the venom

If it weren't for this little snake you call tongue

All its twisted dreams and sickest intentions

Just one utter to send the deadly pang...

Maybe Hell is our fear and Heaven our hope both of which were spawned by someone taking different meanings from the same night sky.

And maybe not.

The game was created for us to play
As if we don’t care about the score;
Taking our satisfaction from the moments
We made hard plays look simple
And the simple ones look automatic.

When we fall, and we all fall, we
Take pride in getting up.
When we can’t get up,
Defiance redeems us from our failure.

In the end, we remember the plays
Not the wins and losses, because in the end
We all get carried off the field.

I've seen the people
They have tombstones in their eyes
Dying to get high

I've been strung up
Put out for show
A line I could not tow

And so it seems
By any means
I must find a way

To hurt myself
And those I love
When I could rise above

And only you
The path is through
A chance to start anew

If you could lift me up high
Lift me to the sky
I would not tumble and fall away
I'd still be at your side today

If you could lift me up high
Lift me to the sky
Up in the clouds is where I'd stay
And watch my old life drift away

All that I ask
Is that my years
May not be lived in fear

So satisfy
My worried mind
And I can find a way

To love myself
And others too
Despite what they've been through

I ask today
You light their way
And someday they can say

If you could lift me up high
Lift me to the sky
I would not tumble and fall away
I'd still be at your side today

If you could lift me up high
Lift me to the sky
Up in the clouds is where I'd stay
And watch my old life drift away