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I text hi
You text hey
Instantly I wish I’d said that instead because Hi makes me sound clingy
I count the minutes between our texts
You ask how I am
I say I’m good who are you
You say not bad :)
I say that’s good :)
And we are back to square one.
Conversations of k lol cool and ya
The kind I hate
Then we play questions
And you ask me questions that are so deep, it surprises me
I’m intrigued
You’re different
I tell you the truth
About so many things I’m used to lying about
I am getting so close to telling you
My secrets
My unpretty ones
The ones I’ve been keeping
I said you know all that you need to about me
But I lied
I’m sorry
But you lied too
You text me you’ll be there when I return
Waiting for me
You might have said the sweetest things anybody has ever said to me
But you change your mind too easily
I travelled so far and thought of you
Every day I was away
I bought you something special
But you never got it
Because when I got back
You were there
But not really
You were distant
And you said remember how I liked you?
I notice you put it in past tense
Okay
That’s fine
It doesn’t consume me
At least I didn’t let myself get attached
Because usually when I lose someone
The pain never fades
At least you didn’t give me time
To fall in love with you and your lovely words
Lovely
Lovely
Lovely
You ruined the word for me
I wish I didn’t have to keep that special gift I had for you
But I can’t bring myself to get rid of it
And I used it a couple times myself so it didn’t go to waste
But now it haunts me too much to touch
So it sits on a shelf
And isn’t broken
But it’s just a little sad
Kind of like me
And what is behind the words
The words I gave you
Thank God I never told you my secrets
You couldn’t have handled them
And then that would mean I trusted you
With it all
And I really couldn’t handle losing someone
Who I trust
Because it’s worse than losing someone who I love
But still thank God I didn’t fall in love with you
I’m hiding something behind the words still though
It isn’t that bad
you didn't break me or anything
but still
I’m just a little sad.

Repost if you know the feeling
Repost if you know the feeling
 Nov 2014 Fitri Nisya
Rupal
Sorry
 Nov 2014 Fitri Nisya
Rupal
Some people
are apologetic
when they
break things...

Some people
break hearts
and pretend
nothing happened...
 Nov 2014 Fitri Nisya
Jack
~

I prayed for light, He sent me sun
I prayed for moisture, He sent me dew
I prayed for beauty, He sent me flowers
I prayed for love, He sent me you
 Nov 2014 Fitri Nisya
Just Melz
You,
who used to touch me where I didn't want you to, reaching inside me, where I'd *never
let anyone before, I was only eleven, I shouldn't of been treated like a *****...
   I hate you

You,
who took advantage of me, when I was just thirteen, taking what innocence and trust that I had left, breaking my spirit down to an empty shell...
   I hope you rot in H£LL

You,
who just watched what they did to me, judging me, saying it's my fault for dressing slutty. I was only fourteen...
I hope I'm never like you

You,
who made me believe I was not a used rag doll, gave me trust and hope, only to reach my sixteen year old core, then ripping it all to shreds like never before...
I'll never forgive you

You,
who said you loved me, made me think it was the real thing, helped me forget the past, at only eighteen, you gave me my wings and hope that it would last, then when you realized I just wasn't enough, you went and found some different lust, at twenty-five, you decided you wanted a new life,  but our kids mean the world to me, so I can't regret you, but I can erase your memory...
I hope she cheats on you

You,
who finally made me think I'd found the real thing, then broke me down, then picked me up just to throw me down again, over and over, then used the fragile remaining shards of my heart to cut out my soul and leave me falling apart...
I wish you nothing but pain and despair

You,
who I laugh and joke with now, who I wish to know more, who makes me scared I'll end up with a broken heart like before, who seems to truly care...
Please, don't forget how fragile I am
        
You,
who I may or may not have met yet, don't hurt me, don't make me regret. I won't be able to handle losing another, I wanna be happy with you, I wanna know forever...
**I hope you'll love me too
I've never written about a few of the things mentioned in this, it was quite difficult for me, Tbh.  Feedback would be greatly appreciated.  
Thank You.
Like a stubborn flower
I'll bloom
but only in time
"I love you"
" A constant commitment 
                   or 
       an instant obligation?"
It's in moments like these
where the universe is revealed
I find myself wandering the infinite land
searching for a lover and a friend

The moments of peace
where freedom is revealed
tales of Gods and Goddesses

New music my last hope
my first trip away from home
I am me ! can't you see?
i'm real not a normal human
i'm just meat

Why am i here?
dazed chasing desires and dreams
i could shake the ground beneath your feet
but things don't look always as they seem

Lets sail this ship to escape our past
Sins that killed the innocence while the demons laughed

It's in moments like these i fly high and dance with the stars
where i'm back to the womb

but for others it's just the tomb..


Words Of Harfouchism.
If you can relate to that, i admire you
 Nov 2014 Fitri Nisya
Àŧùl
Yes I have been through it,
Our situations are similar,
They're different just a bit.

Tides of time are testing us,
We do not ever bow down,
Yes we will be strong babe.

We're together & we'll be so forever.
Words tried to strengthen our relationship but it all failed in the end.

My HP Poem #693
©Atul Kaushal
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