Did I fall for you the first time you said,
‘I love you’?
No, no, it was definitely before that.
Was it that time when you made
That corny joke, and your
Goofy grin made my day?
No, no, it was even before that.
Was it the time when you found me in the
Empty hallway, and brushed your
Fingers through my hair and told me
Everything would be alright?
No, it was still before that.
Was it the time that you told me about
Your struggling family,
And you looked me directly in the eyes and
I saw your firm resolve and your
Willingness to initiate change?
No, it wasn’t even then.
I fell in love with you when I was awake at 4
In the morning and I thought the whole world
Could hear me sobbing and I called you,
And you answered.
Maybe that makes me seem weak, but
I just wanted to tell you
When I f
                  e
                       l
                           l
                               .

laugh at the spring
of an innermost bud
sweep into drunkenness
an insensitive buzz
couch surfing hymns

state to state, you in your
least excellent of clothes
still steals the breath away
from the shiniest worn by most
best friends for life, safe from him

hating you
hurts my heart
but loving you
obliterates it

s.s

My heart died before me,
so They bury my thoughts in
with the worms in the ground.

As the first nail shuts the lid,
I gained my consciousness.
I gazed into the impenetrable darkness
of that ancient and complete fear.

A chill burns along my nerves' edges,
As my thoughts clash against my teeth,
of all those words I have not said
I could have said I should have said to you.

As soils shift in and rain seep through
These words rattle in my throat
while you are already away,
thinking not of me.

Blood draining and eyes dilating,
I found new strength in the splinters
of torn skin-- breaking in--
into a world that wants me not

Reborn into a languor of midnight rain,
there I see you kneeling--
eyes teeming with hatred, regret, agony

So we pulled each other in
as the mantle layers above

centuries past, heavens frown,
grounds encased
were our Love in Amber,
our story on parchments,
our hearts pressed
in sedimentary stones.

there’s a little light
peeking through
the small crack
enough to create
a spark, a fire
that will finally
set her free
and make her shine

your words exactly:
"i believe our paths were meant
"to intersect,
"but not to sustain.
"to touch,
"but not to cling.
"to meet,
"but not to unite. "
and i still love you,
despite.

how can I be so broken
from something that has never been there in the first place

how can I be so broken
from someone who wasn’t even mine in the first place

I miss you
I wish you
Were not
Exactly you
I wish you could be
A better version
Of almost exactly you