How is possible to miss someone you never knew
Is knowing defined by how long they've been there or how much you've grown partial to
I fall in love with someone everywhere i go
Its the mental image of me being happy with someone i don't even know
Or just found out existed
The cycles of the seasons rewind to a brighter idea throughout my twisted reasons
I feel sickened to think about strangers this way
Solely off appearance they're able to give my hope a place for its head to lay
Its the feeling of making eye contact with someone extremely alluring when they walk by
When your heart sinks to the deepest depths where all your fears and flaws hide
To know you'd never have a chance to have them in your life
Cowardice has a death grip

I have a trinket
I hold the world in my palms
And in the world i hold a woman who owns a voice that calms
This trinket is not magic
It's a godsend in disguise
And it harbors the words of a woman
With bright blue sky eyes
Now the distance is quite an issue
But it won't hold our demise
There are many miles ahead
And time is on our side
So I'll just lay here awake
Chatting away with someone in which i confide
And maybe one day I'll get a package
Marked precious cargo with you wrapped up inside

I've been pacing for seven years now
Dug myself into a deep dark trench
The worst part about it is I've known about it but i couldn't stop
I know when things are important but i struggle with the motivation to give a single ****
It's not a term i use lightly
I want to but it's easier to run
But I've backed myself into a corner and given my past a loaded gun
Regrets are heavy
Placed so delicately on my shoulders day by day
But my knees are getting weak
It's like getting stabbed over and over again with a dull knife
It'll never penetrate but it still hurts right
I'm slowly losing this fight
It never fails to haunt me
Every single night.

I'm not afraid I'm just weak.

I love picking at my old wounds
I can't escape my past
Id love to tell you goodbye
But my dear depression
You are here to last

If only I knew the price I'd pay
Living the same cycle day by day
The blood in my veins would soon run cold
The spark in my heart would abandon my soul
The comfort of my skin would wear away
The color of my city would turn to gray
The blood in my head would drain from my nose
Spending dime after dime left me out in the cold
If only I knew that I just had to try
Doses became higher
And so did I
Till I finally screamed, threw myself on the floor
I punched
I kicked
Couldn't take it anymore
Dose after dose
I couldn't see from my eyes
I laid on my back and looked up at the sky
If only I knew it was all part of the ride
Just a bunch of ****** up kids
With bloodshot eyes
Chasing our drinks instead of the sun
Only God knows the battle I've won.

My life
Is a constant cycle
Of chasing sleep
And getting tripped
The moment I finally
Catch up.