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I knew you would forget, just as soon as the sun would rise,
But your words, cliché and hollow, came as no surprise.
I asked but one small favor, at both break and close of day,
Just to hear you say hello, but now, hope's bled away.
cigarettes may ****,
blades hurt,
and ***** burns,
but it makes me feel alive,
and I will rather be alive,
than just another living shell,
sitting straight on a shelf,
like a plastic toy.

(e.k.j.)
  Nov 2014 Emma Kolditz Jensen
Lyn
Loving him causes her nothing but pain
Yet she loves him anyway

Because
She loves pain
And
Pain loves her back
i love you. i do, i really do. and i’m sorry if it freaks you out sometimes, but these feelings are so overwhelmingly strong that it shakes my whole system even after 2 am. i dream of you constantly and it horrifies me because they seem so real — as if i could still feel it, taste it, remember it like it happened yesterday.

i love you, and it’s scary to think that your words can break me anytime, any moment. i am vulnerable to you, and i think it’s both beautiful and sad how i easily & effortlessly gave it all up just so i could be with you. there’s just something — God knows what — that made me want to be with you even though i’m aware that you’re galaxies away from me.

i love you, and i love how i feel beautiful when you say that you are in love with me too. God, you are my favorite. i must admit that i have kissed & loved enough boys to know what brokenness truly feels like, but you mended me just like i’m something familiar, something you’ve been fixing your entire life. it’s a sick, mad world we’re living in, but you make it seem less agonizing whenever i hear you say those three words at 3 am, 4 pm, or 11 pm.

i’m in love with you, and it’s more intoxicating than the cigarettes and the alcohol i’ve taken in my whole life combined, and i don’t even want to be sober. you are the high even without the drug. you are the euphoria even without the ******* (beautiful) fireworks. you are the emotion even without the words.

i love you, and it’s okay if you can’t put it into words — how you feel — because even the silence i spend with you is enough to give me butterflies in my empty stomach. i don’t know what time it is, but it’s past midnight, and i’m still writing about you. i am a mess for and because of you, and my handwriting is proof. you shake my system even when you’re not there, and my dear, this is rare.

i love you dearly, with all honestly, and with all faithfulness. and i can’t help but think about you, every **** day. you’re both my drug and my antidote. my poem. my sunlight, my stars. my soul.

and i hope you love me too, as much as i love you.
  Oct 2014 Emma Kolditz Jensen
Xyns
This is a note
To you.
I'm sure you'll know who you are if you read this*

You've become a weakness for me
Someone I can't stop thinking about
You're on my mind constantly
And I know this is crossing that line
That was drawn last night
But there's a chance you'll never read this
And I'm not telling you in person
So, really, this is alright to do

You're one of the greatest people I've ever met
And for some reason I can't get you out of my head
I can't focus on anything
Sometimes it's internally embarrassing
Also, I can't comprehend why
Someone like you, so wonderful and unique
Would ever even think of someone like me
Someone so drab and boring

I'm supposed to be doing math right now
But these thoughts kept nagging at me
And since I'm not supposed to tell you personally
This is all I can do
And at this moment i feel ten times better
Than what I used to
And you'll probably never see this..
But at least I got this off my chest.
crying,
burning,
over you,
still,
after what feels like,
27 years,
since we talked it,
through,
baby,
I'm still,
******* crying,
over stone cold,
girls,
like you.
thank you.

(e.k.j.)
this is nonsense, yay!
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