Silently she's combing,
Combing her long hair
Silently and graciously,
With many a pretty air.

The sun is in the willow leaves
And on the dappled grass,
And still she's combing her long hair
Before the looking-glass.

I pray you, cease to comb out,
Comb out your long hair,
For I have heard of witchery
Under a pretty air,

That makes as one thing to the lover
Staying and going hence,
All fair, with many a pretty air
And many a negligence.

The truth of it is-

he's not going to fix you

she's not going to make you forget
the way your father would hit you

He is not going to make your collarbones sprout roses
He will not make you forget how to need

The truth of it is-

She is not a savior
She is not able to fight off the demons in your dreams

He will not make you forget the way your mother left
The bloodstains in the bathtub will still be there

The truth of it is-
This is your life
This is not a movie

No one is going to swoop in and save you

You will have to grow your own wings if you want to fly away

Liz Taylor once said:

"Pour yourself a drink,
put on some lipstick and
pull yourself together."

I stopped believing in the positive power of alcohol
when I saw the struggle in my
70 year old great uncles bloodshot eyes
the time I caught him at 2 am
reaching for the whiskey in the top shelf of the cabinet

I apply lipstick every day
all crimson scarlet blood pooling on my breath
all dripping cherry popsicle
all lip stains on your neck and pillowcase
all red on red on red

I can't ever seem able to pull myself back together
Like stitches coming undone on a wound
Like egg shells cracking on hardwood floor
I stopped trying after 3 years of puzzle pieces
These days I make sure I never fall together so I never fall apart

I have this creeping ache on the edges of my bones
like the way crystal forms,
slowly.

Like the way prehistoric bugs that live in caves die every day.

I think I forgot to close my eyes and woke up blind.

I live my days hoping to grow inwards until my bones
start the delicate tearing of my skin and
water fills my lungs.

I have longed for this to happen ever since i was 7 and
I heard drowning was the closest you can get to

euphoria.

His eyes were an abyss
That I couldn't help
But fall into them

The soft charcoal black
Rimmed by even darker lashes
A flirty smirk
A careful poke on the nose

Each smile from him
Pulling me in
Further

o.g.

The wind blew softly
Wiping her hair in all different directions
Making her hair change colors
As the sun struck it at different places

The waves struck against the shore
Water splashing onto his shirt
Slowly soaking it to the bone
Causing him to shiver

The leaves fell slowly
Blurring together all the colors
Scarlet, blood orange, golden yellow, a dark green
They stood together
Watching as the sky they once knew
Fell to the ground

She smiled a sad smile
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders
Trying to keep her from falling like the sky

But no matter how hard he tried
She blew away with the wind
Disappeared like the waves
Fell from the sky like the leaves
Finding a final resting place
With her thoughts and feelings

o.g.