oh you poor thing,
with so much hate and bitterness in your small heart.
it's sad, seeing you constantly loathing.
doesn't it get tiring? i wonder.
when everyone learns and moves on,
you remain and persist,
like raging acne on a hormonal teen.
in the gates of closure you sit,
preventing progress.
does this bring you pleasure?
if it does, how disappointing,
that you feed off the "hurt" that people feel from your poisonous words.
like a child, you gossip,
and like adults, people continue on with their lives.
you act like you're on a moral high ground,
yet, you've done things more heinous than anyone i know.
in a few years, those you've ******,
would've grown into better people.
but, oh not poor you,
still clinging onto the past.
peace and tranquility,
it's something you should try sometime.
or maybe to put it more bluntly,
don't be such a **** human being.

surrounded by friends,
yet inside, all alone
sat the girl with rainbow nails.

she who was once plagued with the need to blend,
to be just another clone
who once paid attention to all the details.

she had always felt the need to pretend,
the one who seemingly everyone outshone
tried her best, but to little avail.

she wondered, if this would one day lead to her bitter end,
if this was her future, written in stone
some nights alone, she would let out a wail.

but one day, she decided to transcend,
her old habits, were those she no longer condoned
for a new life, she was willing to fight tooth and nail.

after some time, she learnt to tend,
to her own wounds, she held her own
now she promised to live by her own rules, without fail.

inevitably, old clones begin to condescend,
however, from society's rules, the bird has flown
bringing colour to her life, she has lifted the veil.

the world can push many to their wit's end,
but she wants those to know, that there is power behind the throne
here's to the girl with rainbow nails.

unadulterated and sweet,
depraved and bitter.

warm as the afternoon sun,
cold as the night's moon.

big bright smiles,
torn and bleeding lips.

heart full of love and care,
heart full of rage and envy.

bright eyes with a glint of mischief,
dead eyes reflecting self hate.

i'm sorry i can't always be who you want me to be.

for when i was first brought into this world,
to when i found my first "love".
baby's breath so pure, sweet and delicate
like i once was.
do you see the irony now,
as more baby's breath now sits on my desk.
time changes people, as i am no exception.
oh how i wish life were different,
so many things i would love to alter.
but all that may just as well be a dream.

pristine and innocent,
damaged and corrupted.

who in the right mind
would still send me baby's breath?

TRIGGER WARNING- ABUSE

cold, colder yet colder.
i watch as his eyes fill with rage.
from being a strong shoulder
to cry on, to being impossible to engage.

as red as blood can be,
as blue as bruises can get.
i pray and hope no one sees,
or again i'll face another threat.

if love were enough,
scars and bruises i'd ignore.
but reality is just that tough,
one day i might just turn to gore.

all i ask is for you to treat me as your equal,
so i don't have to fight with all my might.
all i ask is to be loved the same way you love my brothers
is it not only right?
all i ask is to be recognised when i achieve,
without dismissive comment.
all i ask is for you to allow me to express myself freely,
to be free of judgement, even if just for a moment.
all i ask i to not be the one to blame,
when i had to face the torment of assault.
all i ask is for this to come to an end,
please just bring it to a halt.

dead in the night
all alone
dead inside

eyes wide open
glued to the ceiling
gone all mental healing

all the overthinking
praying for redemption
followed by slow blinking
for shame, i'm left with feelings of abnegation.