Its like I'm melting,
my insides crumbling,
my pain sucoming
to the sacrifice of my emotions.

Supposedly I'm the tough, the rough one
The girl who gets punched and punches back.
But on the inside im crying dying slowly,
taking in every word you throw at me.

In order to stay whole to keep that goal,
I put up my iron walls,
protecting what already falls,
I'm gone, nothing but a shell,
left sun bleached and dead on the edge of hell.

Words aren't supposed to hurt me,
But baby what you are saying
its like acid to my brain.

He told me to look into a mirror and write down 10 things I saw there.
Not of the flesh, not of beauty, but the reaction one gets from one's own eyes.
What are the eyes? he asked me
In reply I looked away allowing the words to be ripped from my mouth The windows into the soul

One by one he asked me to look into each person's there, over and over asking if I could trust them.
With a laugh and a hint of sarcasm I don't trust easily
But my heart felt empty and a hug well needed,
to try and heal all those years unheeded.
I look and see his truth, to trust and love without doubt.

Have you ever gazed into your own eyes?
What did you see there,
was it things you knew or secrets you've hidden even from yourself?

Can you look into your own eyes, tell yourself that you are beautiful and mean it?
If the eyes are the windows to the soul what lays behind your shutters.
Oh lover I've been asking myself what you are hiding.
Can I look into the dark centers fading to the storm outside,
find your meaning, what you hide behind?

Can you blink and sweep away the pain hidden there?
Can you hide behind that smile so sweet?
Can you, my sweetheart, cease the flow of rain cascading down my cheeks as I try and walk away?

When will I learn
This question runs through my mind.
what is my worth
I try to find some peace of mind after flinging a towel over my mirror.
For I did not like what I found hidden there.

Baby touch me...
kiss and caress me.
Trail your fingers on my cheek
down the curve of my neck.
Across my breast,
up the hill of my hip,
over my thigh,
between my legs...
Bite me but softly,
grab my hips and pull me towards you.
Skin on skin,
Lips, together.
Bodies pressing.
Intertwined in a passionate bliss,
much like our first kiss.
You massage my back,
taking from me the pain long felt.
Yet again running,
fingers up my spine so gently,
I shiver,
Eyes closing to remember this,
this passion, content, no longer longing.
Time passes,
while your touch weakens.
Ceasing to kindle that fire,
gone, all gone,
as well as your hands
from my soft skin.
The memory of your lips.
The feel of your hips.
I sigh as I walk away now,
my choice yet it still hurts.
Remembering fondly that touch,
that caress.
Love of mine.
Think of me kindly, don't miss me.
Believe simply that we had a fire,
but the door is shut now,
cutting off the air that fead it.
Baby you've done your part,
but now its time for a new start.

As I look into your eyes I find the pain they caused me.
The love you inflicted on me.
Leaving me breathlessly infatuated.
The words "find someone better for me" fresh on my mind like razor that's just left my skin.
Not deep but like the ****** of that pin and those  hallow promises.  
That line and dot the only thing left of you. Forever on my skin but for that remembered caress of your lips.

I know in my heart to shut off the possibilities, to not open the flood gates of my eternity.
But relentlessly you picked and prodded.
Until you had worn me through.
To open myself to more then just ***.
More then just one night with out sleep.
Without the moans and groans produced by uncaring falsehood.
By faked caresses with old number seven on my breath.
Once again the last cigarette.
I promise this time it will be my last.
I swear that's not a pack behind my back.
But now its all gone, the truth the passion.
The late nights talking wishing we we were older.

Arms around my waist pressing my thighs to yours ignoring the scares.
My back folded backward to look into your eyes.
The same blue as the sky's the same blue that caught me by surprise.
You launched me off this planet but now that your gone gravity reclaimed me.
My body falling aimlessly to the pavement where my knees first hit.
You tore me wrecked me told me you'd be there for me.
But baby I'm the heart breaker. I'm the one who does the leaving I'm the one who never lets the pain in.  
I was the fire who consumed all in her path til that blue water hit, causing me to think that this breath will be the last.