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I saw your fire red lips today,
Lighting up someone else's world
With a kiss, to the air, to their lips
I'm sure their heart was in flames.
I wanted to feel that burn
And I missed it, for a moment
And a lifetime.

Times like these are when hearts sink,
Like lame Titanic references, inserted here,
Because I'd like to think it sinks in deep.

Sometimes I feel like it's better to be alone for a long time before trying again.
Sometimes I'm wrong about these things and regret it in the end.
Sometimes I'm right.

This time I'm right.
And this didn't go the way I imagined.

Burn on.
Stream of consciousness.
She's lost.
She's lost between loving someone,
who has left her in the dust so many times before,
or loving someone new.
She tells herself,
to run away from the darkness of yesterday,
but yet there's something so alluring to it.
It pulls her in and swallows her whole.
This man,
that once was her whole world,
had gone away,
and now he wants to return.
But when he left her,
she thought it was time to move on.
She found someone new,
but yet he wants to come back?
Like nothing ever happened at all?
Now she stands in the middle,
lost between the light and the dark.
Contemplating her fate,
she can hardly breathe,
what shall she do?
She stands there,
on the verge of tears,
lost between loving him,
and loving someone new.
She's slowly being torn apart,
and she can't help but,
to look to the sky,
and ask God why?
T.B.
I wish you could see it through my eyes maybe then things would be different. Maybe if you saw and felt everything exactly how I did maybe you'd understand.

All the pain you've caused you don't even realize it. I wish you could just look into my eyes and see the pain in them the pain that you placed them. Maybe you'd finally get it and youd finally understand. Because you see through my eyes I see nothing but the darkness anymore. I've grown accustomed to the dark it's been my friend for quite some time now.

Oh how I wish you only knew. Maybe if you looked into my eyes and see it all youd understand. Those late nights of nothing but my overwhelming thoughts swallowing me whole. The many tears that was shed that I tried so hard to choke back. All those stress induced anxiety attacks caused by the words you said words that were like blades cutting through my skin.

Maybe if you could've experienced every last thing you have done to me the way I had then maybe you'd finally understand.

I've been fighting this battle for so long all for what? Love? Love that I can't even tell if it's mutual any longer? I tried to run and hide but every time you find me. Every time you were right behind me with the knife that had been driven through my heart, and my wounds reopened by the words that you spoke.

It's become so hard for me to determine what lies true with you. The words you speak like poison that runs through my veins. I believe when I hear for a short while unable to determine what's true. Anytime I try and run I'm pulled right back in by the whispers of sweet nothingness something I know too well.

Sometimes I wonder how man of your age could do this to girl you claim to love. I wonder how you sleep at night knowing what you've done to me. Are you satisfied?

Are you happy knowing you destroyed this girl the girl who had fallen madly in love with you.

Sometimes I wonder if death is better than this because I'm no longer the girl I once was. I have walls built high up around me to try and save myself from ever feeling like this again. I shut everyone out and always put myself low because I feel it's safer that way. Maybe if you saw all this through my eyes then you'd realize how strongly I truly love you but how much pain and tears youve truly caused.

Because through my eyes you've torn me apart.
T.B.
i feel pathetic.
i want to do something
i want to start searching
i want to go to that space,
space where his soul is waiting.

the feeling of not getting what I desire
because I am at the wrong place.

let my eyes see his eyes
let my hands embrace his back
let my heart beat and dance.

this feeling of excitement.
i want it now,
but i know i can’t.

i will sleep tonight and know that tomorrow
he will be by my side.

this feeling,
the feeling of missing someone.
For a second
I thought
Maybe
                      Just maybe

You could be the next
The one to make my heart flutter
But
                      I thought twice

You were just pretending to be nice
In the end you’re all the same
And
                       In the future

I will be sure to look both ways
Before allowing my heart to wonder
Think
                       Just think

*It could’ve been you.
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