It is with a heavy heart, but
I'm afraid that I will have to
Go off site for a while.

Some of you may have noted
That I have not been reading
As much as I did previously.
It's not that I don't want to.

I can't.



My father is becoming
More and more absent minded.
I have to keep an eagle eye on him.
He is 89 years old...
90 on February 27th.
So he's entitled.

My mom is not in the best of health.

I live with them. It is my
Duty as a daughter to give
Them care.

I hate the western philosophy of
Putting their elders in homes.
My parents can't afford
"Assisted living".
Therefore us kids need to
Step up to the plate.

Please know that you are all
Agape LOVED.  And respected.

I will continue to read when I can.
I'll do my best. I'll be there to
Give you my ♥.
I will post on occasion.
But this is something that I must do.

Thanks.

Unconditional love to you all,
Catherine

Not all leaves move with the wind.
Maybe because the others are too trampled on to move, too ground into the earth. Or maybe they're too stubborn and cling to the pile afraid to fly. But some let go.

They get picked up and carried and see more of the world. Loneliest. Loneliness is the price of worldliness. Ironic isn't it? The more you see the less time you have to connect and stay connected.

I'd still rather fly. So next breeze I feel I'm going to lean back, open up to opportunity and let myself be carried away.

I used to think I couldn't go a day without your smile. Without telling you things and hearing your voice back.

Then, that day arrived and it was so **** hard but the next was harder. I knew with a sinking feeling it was going to get worse, and I wasn't going to be okay for a very long time.

Because losing someone isn't an occasion or an event. It doesn't just happen once. It happens over and over again. I lose you every time I pick up your favorite coffee mug, whenever that one song plays on the radio, or when I discover your old t-shirt at the bottom of my laundry pile.

I lose you every time I think of kissing you, holding you, or wanting you. I go to bed at night and lose you, when I wish I could tell you about my day. And in the morning, **when I wake and reach for the empty space across the sheet, I begin to lose you all over again.

You are dead now
for real, not a dream
forever like eternity
because you were

i will miss you
like the breath you cant have
like the wind you cant feel
like the laughs we cant share

its a fact that trouble me that one day you were here for me
and that night before going to sleep weren't
when that call freeze my entire body in confusion
when the sound of my voice refuse to leave my throat

now how I'm suppose to live without you
knowing that everybody can just disappear
i will remember you forever
in my skin and mind

but you are not here
and im alone

We all know in our very inside
that the world that we know is going to end,
there is the people that dont want to see it
and there is the people who embrace it with sadness

magical world that we want to live
why cant we be good
why cant we be safe

that urge to destroy everything we have
that need to cut and suffocate
we will never end
we are going to end everything with our hands
till nothing remains