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People change. Pain changes people.

Trusting less, no more that of a bee not to sting once you let him sit upon your skin. A sting of a thousand stings your words can hurt. Just as much as no words spoken can overthink. What if they loved me like they used to? Would my heart feel full again? So full of a mothers’ belly of a grown child. Love me again like so. So I don’t feel hurt by those words you speak and overthink by the words you don’t.

Overthink by the words I can’t say. Alone in my head like a madman in a padded room wrapped in rough threads; no room to flail. Only to hold myself; hug myself; love myself more. To keep my words for they are sacred as my heart.

Shut Out. There will be no need for others in this space, for I am the keeper of my room. Don’t let anyone bother with the things in this room, no one understands these things, they will only use them. Feelings, heart and beautiful mind. Keep my door locked please, My heart is so tired; tired of fighting.
Eliza Fairchild Aug 2016
Some days I worry I've tread to far from the realm of reality,
mental tangents too easily followed into the world of fantasy.
I'd step outside my body to view the situation from afar;
the door has always been but my mind never leaves it ajar.

I want to see the world in all of its actual real glory.
I don't want my mind to define what there is to this story.
I'm afraid I won't be able to percieve where reality ends.
and where the world of hallucinations really begins.
Eliza Fairchild Aug 2016
Do you really wish to be with me?
Empty words fill the void between us.
This is not how I wished things to be.
I know I really shouldn't make a fuss,
but why does if feel like you can see me?

Maybe I just need to let things go,
and let entropy do what it does best.
I can forget if I just go with the flow
along the way I'll figure out the rest.

The sun sets as the day comes to a close,
I thought I'd hear from you today,
but the silence has fueled my woes
leaving my emotions in disarray.
Eliza Fairchild Jul 2016
The smell of pine lingers on my skin,
long after leaving the comfort of the canopy.
Sap clings to every surface carrying the memories
of winters bitter cold and blindingly dark,
of summers full of sun and song,
of the warmth bubbling up from the earth.

I sought the bright blue sky above the canopy,
but I've found the story of an ancient tree.
Memories well up of a past life,
of a very simple origin seed,
of decades waiting for my time,
of the glorious freedom of light.
Eliza Fairchild Jul 2016
sinking into silence
is easier than one would expect,
words need not cross my lips to be felt.
thoughts flow freely through me
evaporating into the vacuum
that is my mind
  Jul 2016 Eliza Fairchild
Blue Duiker
In the sea of voices,
My mind is loud,
As if people weren't enough already,
It starts to scream.
I keep my head bowed
But my eyes are wide awake.

I can't escape this surreal reality.
The moon pulls the waters
of time
forwards and backwards
along with the yellow sun
eroding the shores of
the people we know
the people we love
until
they disappear
from our lives
completely
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