To let go...to release one's grip,
Not hold on anymore,
Walk away,
Rip it off,
Break it...
Though it cannot be undone.
The point is...it was done,
It occurred, or it happened!

What was, was
What is, is
What is to be, will be!

What we were, we were
What we are, we are
What we will be...well...if we are to be, will be!

To let go is not easy.
It could be, but...
It also could not!

We could let it be,
Whatever that may be,
However it is to be!

'To let go requires the now.
What was done requires to let go now.
Let go now what was done,
Also requires to let be what will be!

To let go and let it be is part of the process of being,
It requires the now.

To let it go...
And let it be...

Past. Present. Future.
The one that stands above these is the present.

The present allows us to look to the past for lessons for the future.
The present is the best present!

The present! The gift!

Who am I?

I'm nobody special.

I drive the streets and give rides to strangers.
I stare at the night sky waiting for something amazing to happen.
I talk to God like how one talks to one's self.
I kiss my kids good night or goodbye as if it's my last.
I am waiting to die or for the coming of the holy king to establish his kingdom.
I could come across as dull or perhaps gloomy.

I adapt, but no longer...
For it does not what I do because I prefer to be nobody, because I am letting go!

Enoch walked with the Lord and was no more...
So to I shall be!

"It's wet outside today baby girl.
A few drops fell for us today."
I told her as I carried her in my arms as we stared out the window.
"Pretty? Yea baby."

Time is,
When a child,
Like honey,
When grown,
Like a drying lake.

It's warm as I settle in.
My heart picks up speed,
We race in the thrusting motions,
Then calmly settle when I am in between you.

'If only' rules my life.
If I would only be more responsible...
If only I would be more daring...

If only...
If only...
If only...
If only...
If only!

If only I'd rid myself of these and just venture onward!
If only...
I would not be stagnant!

*If only!

I am lost again.

Truly!

I have been here before,
Therefore I must be going in a circle!

Then I said, "Go forth!"
Only to stay.

Once more I say, "Go forth!"
Again, only to stay.

Fear.
It keeps me stagnant.
There is no growth,
Much less development.

My voice presents me as a pacifist,
But my heart is a fury!

I am but one of many lost,
In need of saving,
One who requires guidance, instructions, indications...
Perhaps a sort of map if you will.

The Stars point me to the North,
But my dazed and confused heart says, "Stay right where you are"
And a voice within that seems to say, "For you are not lost, but only walking blindly."

Write on me...
What You will;
Your Will, to fulfill...Your purpose...those words;
Being Your very Word to bring my life into focus.

Write on me!
Write on me!

I am an open book with blank pages!

Write on me!
Write. On. Me!

Do not leave me blank!

Write on me!

Leave me not empty!

Write on me!

Ink on quill...Place the tip of Your quill on me and inscribe Your all!

Write on me.

Mommy lying next to my children,
All three fast asleep,
Not before I had shared with them a story.

During the brightness of the day I had lied in the shadow of a tree,
The thought of Adam in the Garden of Eden came to me.
No houses.
No cars.
No airplanes.
No television.
No computers.
No phones!
Just the animals on land and in the sea, God and Adam and...
Then came Eve.
That came to an abrupt end when they ate of the forbidden fruit talked into by that snake!
As if that was not enough Cain did away with Abel!

Many years went by from Noah to Abraham to Jonah,
Whom God commanded to demand repentance from Nineveh.
Reluctantly is an understatement,
But nonetheless reluctantly Jonah did so,
Not before he supplicated to God in the belly of the beast for...
You know the story!

More years went by to a time when a Persian king forbade a man to communicate with thee Almighty.
That man did so openly only to repose with the lions and an angel.
I speak, of course, of Daniel!

I moved time along for mommy and my two children to the time of the God man,
He who was obedient to the very death on a tree and rose in three!

Mommy lying next to my children,
All three fast asleep before me,
Now the lamp is off and the nightlight is on,
May the one who is our all in all protect thee!

Lie there,
On the blanket,
On the grass.

Watch the leaf,
Hanging by a thread,
Glide down gradually.

See the clouds,
They intertwine,
Seemingly to kiss.

The butterfly will do just that...
Fly.
And the hummingbird,
It's wings hum.

This may seem cheesy,
And perhaps all too cliche,
But I swear to you...no photo will do this justice.

One must lie there,
In peace,
Without a phone, care, or worry.

I am not here.
I do not exist.

Before I proceed,
I must apologize,
For I have made this about me,
But...
It is all I know at the moment.

They will not hire me,
Neither will they accept the line I have thrown.
They will not inquire to find out what I could offer.

This is not a complaint.
I am merely stating what is obvious...to me!

Talent, language, and skill,
These are insufficient!
Might as well do away with me.
Just be rid of the unnecessary,
And all will be just peachy.

I am not here.
I do not exist.

Glorious morning dew...
On each leaf of grass,
On each leaf of the trees,
Covering the window shields,

But...

If only I can **** the undying noise;
The mowers near and far,
The mechanical birds overhead,
The storming of vehicles on the highways.

Still...

What glorious morning dew!

We're all a bit kooky somehow,
Have a strangeness to us in a way,
But just seems like i especially.
I'm loony i think.
Something's unwell within me.
When something goes south I go with it!
So it must be said,
Once and for all...

I'd go mad without you.
Absolutely mad.
I'll need the mad house without you.
I'll be residing James Weldon Johnson's "Sence You Went Away" all the time without you!
Therefore, it begs to be said,
Once again...

I'm a mad man without you!

Last night I saw you with pristine perception.
After all, a voyage of discovery consists not in new landscapes,
But in seeing things differently.
And how I saw you as you kissed me consistently...

Bare as the Lord sent you to this world,
Not as the chic would have you,
But as I would,
And I was as aroused as any man could...

Marks of having given birth at your belly,
Sagging ***** from the feeding,
Skin smooth as butter,
And what my eyes beheld made my mouth water!

It was you who initiated the expression,
Which brought me so much fascination,
As you expressed your love passionately,
Done so gradually.

It feels like I am enslaved.
I am stuck in a system in which I do not know how to conduct myself.
Debts lie on the table.
They want to impose their chicness.
Pills are in my bag,
And prayer on my tongue.

I am the oddball,
And the oddball desires to be free.

Feed my children Lord!!

Food ain't scarce, but work!
Seems as if I'm unemployable!

Send rain Lord!!

First send the downpour of water,
Then send 20's, 10's, 5's, and singles as necessary!

I don't ask for much except this Lord!
It's not too much for an omnipotent being as you certainly are!

Have mercy Lord!!

I believe in you, but not half the block!
Many in the world believe too, but the unbelievers are growing in number!

Hear my cry Lord!!

Feed my children.
Send rain.
Have mercy.

As a child,
I had heroes,
Also known as childhood heroes,
But then I grew!

Now in adulthood,
all my heroes have been found wanting!

If only I could return to my former hood!

I speak not of the place where the walls are stained,
Where souls find relief on the pavement instead of a home,
And where the metropolitan noise is much like ***** music from the sanctuary!

No!
I speak of innocence, incorruptibility, probity,
And a playfulness unadulterated!

There! That!

There is where I want to be!
That is what I want,
Not only for me,
But for my family!

We...

Eat only to hunger,
Drink only to thirst,
Rest only to tire,
Defecate only to eat,
******* only to be aroused,

And so goes the merry-go-round!

Work and toil,
Work and toil,
Work and toil in vain!

From the poorest to the richest,
Everyone seeks betterment!

So we work and toil,
But work and toil in vain nonetheless!

I'm seekin' to find yo' love,
The one many talk 'bout!

I wanna' feel it;
Bask in it!

Done been told it's an anchor in the storm!

Well then you my anchor!
Lawd!!
You my anchor in this tempest!

I done been moved in so many ways,
My soul been battered!

Yo' love be my anchor!
Lawd!!
Yo' love be the anchor of my soul!!

Even when the sun peek through them clouds over yonder,
And we approach them,
We shan't be separated!!

Some people search in trash bins for cans.
They collect them to get paid.
Some people collect cans to get paid.

Some people go back to the place they like or really enjoy.
They go where they hope and dream.
Some people go back to that place where they hope and dream.

I want to be like you;
In fact, I even imagine I am you,
Except that I am unworthy of such an honor.

My imagination takes me there,
The places I read about,
To where you were:

Walking a field of grain where we pick and eat.
Fishing with those who follow you and listen.
I watch a man stretch out his hand and be cleansed.
A woman kneels to lave your feet with her tears and perfume to dry with her hair.

I imagine myself doing the things you do,
But when I come to...
I realize I do none of these things.
In fact, it seems I do nothing at all.

I want to be like you;
hear the way you do,
see the way you do,
speak like you,
and walk in your manner.

Next I will read about as you are now,
That my imagination may take me there.
I cannot be you,
But I shall be where you are!

Downtrodden and in need...never good enough...
In the ring with oneself goes;

Right palm to the forehead,
Left palm to the temple,
Forehead back and forth against the wall,
Objects thrown about,
Fist against the table,
and voice raised to the heavens in angst!

Melancholy and in need...destitute of confidence, insufficient...
The fight must go forth, distinct from before as so;

*Knees on the ground,
Sight set on the heavenly,
and voice raised in despair!

i shan't worry about the morrow,
for Thou art with me.

embrace me in my sorrow,
for i find comfort in Thee.

Thy love causes me to be roused,
more so than the morning sun.

in Thy river of life may I be doused,
before this day is done and the next begun!

Supernal king,
Thy beauty is lofty, and thy love is imposing!

You are neither haughty,
nor divided,
neither spiteful,
nor malevolent,
Whatever an unbeliever may say to the contrary!

Supernal king,
Thy repute is worthy of extolment!

No sleep.
None to came to my eyes.
I was not welcomed into slumber!
'Twas not from the heat of summer!
No sleep to came to my eyes.
All that came was a barrage of thoughts variant like umber,
like a thousand fireworks bursting!
I know you know the feeling.
You know the feeling of sleep deprivation by the bombs bursting in your mind;
Such was the case for me last night!
Sleep deprivation came to me by the cracking and popping in my mind.

In Babylon one must live up to the status quo,
and be enslaved by its economy and entertainment!

Watch this!
Listen to that!
Buy this!
Sell that!
Own this!
Disown that!

Only in Babylon!

I have been up and down the west coast of Babylon,
To its heartland, or midwest if you will,
And it is beautiful even majestic!

I have waved its flag, sported it along with my children,
and sand its songs!
For I am one of its citizens!

And yet...it is disconcerting.
There is an evil lurking.
The lingering scent of divinity was fabricated and found counterfeit!

The pride of it is imperious!
The self-glorification is overbearing!
And its materialistic needs are excessive!

Only in Babylon!

I abide near the west shores of Babylon,
Though my heart is fully committed to the Kingdom of Heaven,
property of a king not of this world.

The glory is in the Name,
The authority,
And the power.

The glory is in the Word,
The riches,
And honor.

The glory is in the Son,
The king,
And none other!

I knew.
I knew better.
I knew better than to lie with you.
The letting go was difficult.
It was the most difficult thing I ever had to do.

There is a trip one can take to a place called Apologetic.

At this destination regret is the norm,
Lamentations are fashionable,
and apologies in high demand.
In this place contemplation is all the rage,
Reflective thought is du jour,
and repentance is propagated.

I can attest, testify, or bear witness if you will,
That such a place exists!
I have been there countless of times!
I can certainly certify!

Or perhaps...
You have been there yourself already?
In which case you can corroborate what I say is true!

Many are not able to grasp it.
Your love I mean.
What with all the pain,
Afflictions,
Wars,
Hatred,
Religions,
and the like.

Try as they may to grasp it just to slip from their fingertips.
Your love I mean.
Without the logic,
the sense,
the proof,
the evidence,
the tangible,
or something physically palpable.

Oh sure I have sang about it,
Perhaps preached about it,
Even scolded others about ignoring it.
Your love I mean.
Perhaps this makes me a hypocrite,
a bigot,
an ignorant,
a self-righteous,
maybe even preachy,
or a holier-than-thou type.

If I  cannot fully grasp it, how can I share it?
What is true for many is not true for others.
Your love I mean.
What with the studies,
the science,
the confusion,
the politics,
the agnosticism and atheism,
and the overall misunderstanding.

Few truly grasp it enough to sincerely share.
Oh to be adjoined to the martyrs because of it though!
Your love I mean!
To perish,
Lay down one's life,
Give up the ghost,
Enter the glory,
Cross the great divide,
and join the angels.

In this was it made graspable though,
Your love I mean,
Through the Godsent,
the Son,
the Lamb,
the Prince of Peace,
the Counselor,
and the Wonderful!

The winds blow.
However strong they might, they will only sway me to sleep, for I am firmly rooted.
The winds shove.
However strong they might, they will only sway me to sleep, for I am firmly rooted.

Against the grain,
Against the flow I go!

In opposition to a generation self-righteous,
that admonishes me for what I ought or not to say,
and upbraiding me for defying logic in exchange for God's existence!

Against the grain,
Against the flow,
The only way to go!

Bright moon and clear skies outside,
Beautifully quaint family inside.
Oh lovely night!

Stars are brightly visible out,
A babe ***** at the *** in.
Oh lovely night!

Naturally crickets chirp,
And eyes shut for slumber.
Oh lovely night!

Kiss me on the cheek.
But baby girl,
If all you want to do is just lie beside me...beautiful, that's just divine!
Place your head next to mine, close your eyes, and that too is just divine!
Stay with me.
Your father loves you!
Beautiful, crawl next to me...for your lying next to me is just divine!

Look into our eyes.
We are broken.
We have had enough.
We cannot even stand ourselves.

Our eyes say it all;
The distant empty gaze,
The sleepy bags,
And the hollow look.

We dream.
We aspire.
We desire;
All a chasing after the wind.

A better life seems is the goal,
Only to suddenly end;
And with us the aspirations,
And the dreams unrealized.

We know it is coming;
Anytime now,
For we are a fragile state,
And wither like the rest of nature.

If you ask if I can sing, I can.
If you ask me to, I will.
I may hesitate, but I will do so.
My issue is with my need to impress.
But if you ask me to, I will.
I will sing, because I can.
I can sing.

Fifteen and questioning everything, I said, I don't believe in you.

If you are real...Touch me. Speak to me. Give me a vision.

Is this not how it works?

If I obey, will you not...Prosper me? Bless me? Make me known?

I was confused. I misunderstood.

If you are never to physically touch me, nor audibly speak, or ever give me a vision...You are the realest thing in this universe to me.

Though scientism rule everything around me, my faith in you keeps me; poor but my soul prosperous, broken but blessed, and known by heaven.

God, you are the realest!

Carrot arepas on the table,
Busy hands in the kitchen,
Little feet run amok across the house,
And my mouth is full.

They are delicious,
She is the ideal wife,
They are curious,
And are a part of me.

Venezuela gave me their food,
Also her,
Between us both we received them,
And God is the gift giver!

I cannot,
Absolutely cannot,
Add a single moment to my life by worrying!

In fact...if I were to worry my mind to the point of stress I could perhaps subtract myself.

I could,
Absolutely could,
Subtract myself from this life by worrying!

Therefore, I musn't worry my mind.
Even if in the next moment I were subtracted life it shan't be from worrying.

Tis' better to go quietly than with a whimper.

A sip of coffee from my mug at the appearance of sunlight makes me tranquil.
I don't recall much about what I dreamt of when I slept.
There is no guarantee that I will see the moon tonight, for as we know, the rest is not promised, but bring on the day.
Even with all its worries and concerns I embrace it.
It begins with the opening of eyes, a yawn, a rise, a walk, the pouring, and a sip by sip of my morning coffee.