Felt like yesterday you made my heart spin
I felt the satisfaction of potential love within
Ive lost a lot, only gained a little
You showed me what it feels to win
I sit back and think a lot
You changed my story and altered my plot
The kinda movie that is good that you don't want it to stop.
As madness entered, My heart ventures and curiosity killed the cat
I can't help but constantly think about what you're doing, how you've been and where you've been at?
But that is just that
Probably wasn't meant to be
I guess I'm a optimist, hopeless romantic, it was the idea of you that was all I could see..
Been drinking just to ease the pain, everything's altered nothing feels the same
Why didn't we just meet up?
Feel that would of changed things.
But I'll take that
And fall down only to get up and go now
It's a learning lesson that I've tried to gain
It's myself imma try and change
-----
Sippin a flask of my own emotions cause I keep em to myself
Smoking on some SOS
Smoke alarms that show I need help
Wouldn't of been just another notch on the belt
This was purity I felt
It was the heat love could bring
As insecurities and skepticism was gone now....as slowly they melt.
I apologize, and wish at night
That you would one day just reply
"I don't miss you" "it meant nothin"
Psh, well that just my emotions telling a bold lie. I tried. I actually didn't
I'm chasing my feelings down with regret
I'm chasing something that's going to be forever missing.

My minds shut, insides ticking and about to erupt
I'm holding in all issues within
Wish my stubborn **** would just speak up
Nightmares in my cup, rolling on a bad dream
Walking alone with reality, my perception of you ain't what it seems
Ask "are you a human bein?"
Maybe he's still a villian..
Don't hide what you have inside, please...tell me your "true" feelings
As my ego remains in intense healing
With jokers I continue dealing.
Criticism as my decor, with old habits thrown on the floor
Clipped wings, so I jumped. Knowing ill plummet and never soar
Pushes becomes shoves
****, I've lost so much potential love.
By the way, I'm still a hopeless overthinker
Nothing has changed much.
But it has. I no longer feel I'm a spawn of my dad
I've grown into my potential
I can feel now what I couldn't reach
I listen to what people say
I no longer care to preach
I'm sorry to my uncle, I was lost without respect.
I apologize to my family, who never knew what was coming next
For my deception, lack of perception
I'm sorry to my ex.
With many words and few steps
I'm giving my all and nothing less
It's just so hard to improve your past
When people rarely saw your best.
With god by my side, I can't lose any fight
I will remain humble in my journey
I will help guide dark eyes to the light
I beg for the world to not quit, continue to doubt but learn to accept me.
It's not my family, it's not a woman, it's not my friends...I'm the only person who can reinvent me.

**Learning to enjoy life, if you work hard, it's okay to be proud
Excuse me for saying so much in a silent room...I was just thinking again...outloud.

I've sketched this out, I've drawn up a few conclusions
It wasn't real, but our chemistry could of fooled any illusion..
Talking late texting, an early message, a few words to pass by the other just to gain some leverage,
I just didn't see you coming, but that's an excuse, end of sentence.
Yet,
I apologize
For not taking my chances to finally look into those eyes
Promise you clear skies
Lay down on the beach, talk forever
As time flies
I miss you.
I miss having someone to just talk
It's getting hella lonely now, hands in my pockets as I just walk
I guess it makes sense
Two people can't intertwine if they both are tense
I just never met a woman who I can speak too, understand and just vent.
But I made a mistake
I forgot what building a relationship takes..
Takes a chance, takes a moment
Takes two people in order to make
And I peep from time to time just to still see that pretty smile
I would text you, but I know it wouldn't be worth while
I just hope you know and understand
This wasn't part of my plans
At times, I rewind that long Saturday
And wish it was all pretend
I wish we could of stayed friends
I tend to wonder if we will ever amend
Till then
I wish you well and hope you one day can come around
I promise to do right on my wrongs
No cussin, no lookin down.
Letting go...cause forever, you can't hold on
It's true that you truly miss something but only when it's finally gone.

Pride-- pride has been defined in so many ways. So many different styles that create a feud in discussion of its *"true" and actual meaning. Is it leading? A group of people metaphorically representing a kingdom of kings and queens? Is it a downfall of ones self indulgence? Not saying what your heart is internally screaming? maybe it's our hesitation to act? displaying an act of kindness to someone who just may not do the same for us. Is it telling them how you really feel? *Sincere Honesty. Or is it just a misunderstood flaw? That society hopes overtime...we learn to drop. Pride. It isn't anything but a word. It isn't a downfall nor a rising moment. It's however YOU as an individual... decides to carry it.

1116

There is another Loneliness
That many die without—
Not want of friend occasions it
Or circumstances of Lot

But nature, sometimes, sometimes thought
And whoso it befall
Is richer than could be revealed
By mortal numeral—

We've never met, but can I hold your hand?
Can our fingers intertwine? Can we place our toes in the sand?
Can I strum my guitar as you smile and listen?
Can I look into your eyes, see your heart with my vision?
Can I kiss you slow? As we both get lifted into space?
Can I tickle your forearm slowly as your hand gently touches my face?
Create a first date..the burn from the candle lights as desire starts to dim
As I hear her pretty voice, as I feel her passion from within
We've never met, but the idea of love seems to linger
The potential of my imagination..the thought of a ring on her finger.
We've never met, but I think about watching you leave and me starting to miss you
When you start to cry, my sleeves are your tissue,
Help you feel real affection
Help me get through all I've been through.
We've never met. We've never gave it a try
Why do I still want to meet you than?
Why do I feel these feelings?
We've never met, so why do I feel like our possibilities died? Why?
(I hope to see you soon.)