do not follow me into the ocean
do not watch the waves lick my calves
do not wonder where I am going
I'm going
to the bottom of the ocean

the sun, sets
as do my intentions
the sand beneath my toes thickens
and turns more to stone
and shells
I am walking to the bottom of the ocean

so peculiar
to the creatures
that made a claim
to this
territory

no fins no scales
accompany me

I walk with my eyes open
until life begins to fade
until darkness is all there is
when I get to the bottom
the pressure would **** anyone but me

a tiny light sits
in the nothingness
so small almost nothings eyes could catch it
but I know
I came here for it
I have searched for it
far and wide
and here it is
the last real living star

I reach for it
slowly
savor such a moment
and as my fingers grasp it
I find myself
in space
again
empty handed

"can I not have one beautiful thing on earth!"
I scream into the nothingness
but no words come out
i scoff
not surprised
but I am startled
that all the times I have been dragged
back here
none of them have hurt less
then the first time I was betrayed

"nothing that beautiful belongs on earth"
whispers the heavens
but I am frustrated
"I have searched, and searched! and now I am leaving empty handed again! you have to promise me, promise me something beautiful, something beautiful but earthly"

"fine, I promise, I swear on all the planets in the universe"


and that's how I found *you.

Sometimes in life.
Life just *****.
And that's life.
Which *****.
****...

I remember seeing you in my dreams.

You were walking towards me in a field,
The bottom of your sun dress brushing over queen Anns Lace and yellow wild flowers.  

When you made to me you wrapped me in your arms.

I planted a kiss on your forehead.

I miss my dream.
And I miss you.

Sometimes when the sunset is stunning,
It reminds me of how much I want to watch it with you.

I miss you.

In the dead of winter.
When there's several feet of snow outside.

I sit in the kitchen,
Freshly made tea in front of me,
It's steam billowing upwards with the conviction that it matters.

The only thing missing is another cup of tea next to me and someone to sip on it with.

I miss you.

There was a night not so long ago,
I felt like dancing in the moonlight,
My arms around your waste,
You're head resting on my chest.

We would bend and sway like a young
Tree slowly starting to grow.
We would murmur of silly things
Like tea and sunflowers.

After our dance I would have liked to lay in the grass.
You know the spot.
Where we laid together last time.
Where we watched the wind.

I want to lay there again with you.
I want your head to be rested on my chest.
I want to idly play with your hair
While we watch the moon.

Someday we will do these things.

Yesterday I went out and looked at the moon. It was beautiful and full.
Today I returned to look at it and little had changed.
So tomorrow I'm going to sweep you off your feet,
And we will dance in the moonlight until the wind blows us to the ground.