i blindly believe in  a love i have never known.
i do not know what it's like to fall asleep in someone's arms, to the beat of their heart.
I could not tell you how it feels when you hear their voice and suddenly your heart is in your ears.
I have never had someone for support, a structure so strong that their walls would never falter.
yet i find myself giving my heart openly to those who ask
and maybe it is because i am naive and maybe its because i am stupid
but still i give.

You are the first person to ever make me feel inadequate. Like my whole body and soul still is not enough. I could give you The whole world on a platter and you’d say, i only wanted the sun.


And it’s this constant battle between feeling on top of the world and suffocating under the weigh of it all, that i just cant take anymore.

Ive never had my heart broken
Because i never gave it away.
It's under maximum security
You will never find the key.

Ive had a lot of guys promise they would stay
But i dont know why they always tend to leave.
Its like i give too much of myself
Before i ever get the chance to hand them the key.

Cause maybe im too much for them
Or maybe not enough.
Maybe they never wanted my heart
Maybe they just needed my touch.

Some might say im lucky
To have never felt the sting of the broken pieces falling in your hands.
To never wonder if you could have done something differnt to make them stay.

But there are cobwebs on my heart and no one knows the rise and fall of my chest.
Cause its only ever beat for me
And im starting to think that might be best.

quite lost and terrible at directions,
unsure of how this works and who should say sorry first.
but do you miss out on something great because you are still looking back?
can you give  me  a hint on how this works because i know you well enough to tell your mad, but you wont answer my call.
how much space is enough and are you right or are we both wrong.
it's like someone put a blindfold over my eyes  and said "figure out this love thing, kid"
quite lost and terrible at directions,
missing you and feeling terribly sorry.

would you dance with me at 2am in the refrigerator light, could you tell me that everything will  be all right.
can i count the freckles on your cheeks.
when youre stressed rest your head on my chest, tell me about the things that keep you up and the things that bring you down.
ill paint you a picture of all the things you do that make you so great, like always putting a smile on my face.

Dear Dad,
thank you for always brushing my hair and teaching me how to do a ponytail. For never getting tired of piggy back rides and Sunday rides in the Cadillac. Thank you for the 5am drives to softball tournaments and the countless hours playing catch. For reminding me to not dip my elbow and to dig my heels. Thank you for dealing with my stubborn attitude and moody years. For always bringing home breakfast when i needed it most. Thank you for starting my car when the snow is to our knees and making sure im always up for work. Most importantly Thank you for showing me the love i deserve. For always loving everyone around you with your whole heart. Thank you for setting an example of a man of God and a man of his word. For setting the bar high and reminding me that no Queen should ever have to settle.