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Denisse Perez Apr 2016
The biggest feeling of disappointment is when you've just missed a person.
By seconds.
By a minute
By an hour
Or by the years.

It could have been as simple as just missing your boyfriends phone call wishing you a good night.

Or disappearing for years on a loved one just to finally know that they've passed on months before your arrival.

The simple mistake of just missing them could be all avoided. If you were just there.

Let's be there.  You never know what you've missed if you weren't.
Random intake of emotions caused me to write this.
  Apr 2016 Denisse Perez
Staying alone means talking with the self
Staying alone means reviewing the past
Staying alone means scanning the identity
Staying alone means recounting the plummet of felony
Staying alone means recovering the stolen glee  
Staying alone means invigorating yesterday
Staying alone means get ready for tomorrow!
Denisse Perez Apr 2016
The feelings inside me was enough to **** me. Us pulling up in his car just to see you come out of yours. The high disappeared. The vibes were gone. My heart began to pound louder than a drum on Chinese new year. You were heading our way.

I felt it. Your disappointment and anger. The look of betrayal written all over your face. You were keeping it all together when you really wanted to fall apart.

And there we were. All three of us standing in front of each other. Twas a night of good vibes ended up in a sour taste. All because I thought you wouldn't have understood. And there we were.

As one parted his way, you grabbed my hand and we started to walk away from the venue. I looked at you as you looked ahead. And all that was running through my head was to get away from you. When I had no right to. I watched you yell and scream for what felt like an eternity. I felt your pain and displeasure, all while I tried to prove an invalid point; trying to make it seem like you were wrong when it was actually me.
I heard you say words I've never heard you use before. I watched your eyes danced with madness, your pupils widening into great pools of rage and at the end all dim down with a flow of tears.

I wanted to hug you. I wanted to say I was sorry. I wanted to tell you that I didn't want to hurt you and that I had made some stupid decisions. But I didn't. Pride held me back and ego covered my mouth. Instead I watch you cry. It was unbelievable.

You drove me home that night. Nothing was said for a good 20 minutes. Then you pulled up into a parking lot to a highway hotel by the I15, where we began to talk again. Ego didn't silence me and pride didn't restrain me. We talked for what felt like hours when it was really 15 minutes. Then we were at my house. Where you hugged me good night. The smell of white amber and cardamom filled my nose... and then you drove away..

A lot happened that night. It was one of the many nights I said to myself I was never going to hurt you like that again........and I'm sorry.
It was many and many a year ago,
  In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
  By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
  Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
  In this kingdom by the sea:
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
  I and my ANNABEL LEE;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
  Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
  In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
  My beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
  And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
  In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
  Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
  In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
  Chilling and killing my ANNABEL LEE.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
  Of those who were older than we—
  Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in heaven above,
  Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
  In her sepulchre there by the sea—
  In her tomb by the side of the sea.
  Apr 2016 Denisse Perez
Kathleen M
I love you
For all the times I didn't say it
For all the times you didn't know it
I love you
For every breath you questioned it
For every bit of hurt
I love you
For every time I cut you off
For everything I do wrong
I love you
For the lines crossed
For the tears lost
I love you
Denisse Perez Apr 2016
Mirror mirror on the wall. Who's the insecurist of them all? Who's the one who looks back a second glance to see if there's any drastic changes
In her weight
In her face
In her hair
And in her waist

In her smile or in her teeth. In her skin or the way she speaks?

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the dumbest of them all? For looking at you and seeing the opposite. For avoiding you because she's afraid. For looking at you and feeling disgusted or for not accepting for how she's portrayed.

Mirror mirror on the wall. That's all you really are. You don't lie. You don't hide. You're just a mirror. With no pride. You reflect the piece of art a woman really is. But in her eyes it was all a big, fat, giant miss.
Fill my glass
  of vintage
  top it til the
bubbly overflows,
   as memoirs
    & recollections
     beyond lucid
   hungover midst
       an endless
         toasting of
Cheers, have a great weekend!
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