I wanted
someone
that wouldn't
be afraid

of me.

I spent
twenty-one
years
doubting
that person
could ever
exist.

For humans
are far too shallow
and our
complications
are

way too deep

but I honestly believe
we should not have to
be alone.

I believe in independence.
I believe in self-reliance
and I believe in self-respect.

But I also believe that
humans can connect
on a far deeper level
than just what we see.

I believe there is a time
and place
for everything
and that includes
the moments

we fall in love.

You see,
there will be days
that you fill
empty
and lonely
but you have
to be there for yourself.

No one is going to give you
a handout
unless you show them
you are going to
make it count.

No one is going to
rely on someone
that cannot
rely on them self.

Co dependence can be
beautiful
but nevertheless-
it is filled with
even more grief.

You cannot fix somebody else
when you are still
practicing
the craft
of self-love.

Allow your lows
to be reminders
that you
can lose
and smile
knowing
that you can
bounce back,
too.

There is nothing
graceful
in struggling
but there is
something
glorious
in the

overcoming

and believe me-
you will find a way
to live through it all.

And then
some day
somebody,
somewhere
is going to
admire
the way
you refuse
to fall.

And you will wonder
how you ever
let the world
make you feel

so small.

-Andrew Durst.

You can be above the influence.
And still be an influence.

A positive one in every one way or another.
With all of my heart.

Anonymous. 2/10/2016.

you dont know me
once the lights go out
you dont know me
once my blood starts running
you dont know me
when i collapse on the floor screaming
you dont know me
when i scratch at my skin
you dont know me
you dont know my sin
you dont know me
the depths i hide within

You have a smile that turned a cloudy night
into a perfect sunset hugging the horizon.
And your eyes they whisper lullabies
to the tempo of my heart beating, throbbing,
keeping me warm when the world resides.
A slumber of the sweetest kind
on messy sheets in the heart of night.
With hands like pillows forever fluffed,
when dreaming of you I can’t wake up.
For dreams of night to dreams of wake,
I pray for you my soul to take.
And rest my life I dare not shake
the view of roses that never flake.
Too good to be true, too good that it's you.
A black and white life now springing with hues.
So no need for a picture, or a thousand words
as you melt the freeze frame with every twirl,
every step, all my walks of life reset.
I found you when the pale night crept
with stars as specks behind you wept.
And nervous I kept you wouldn't expect
But my feet were shaking off the floor you swept.
And if the days beyond us disconnect,
your sunset smile I won't forget.