1. you may feel that your feelings are illogical.  you may feel stupid for even having them in the first place.  don’t.  you have every right to every feeling you are feeling.
2. getting the feelings to go away will be difficult.  the more you think about how you wish you didn’t have them, the longer you will.  it’s okay.  you’ll move on eventually.
3. you may have thought they were perfect, the only one for you.  that will fade.  soon you’ll find the real one who will be everything you thought they were and more.
4. breathe.
5. remember that in a few years, they’ll just be someone you used to know.
6. silently watching them with someone else will eat you up.  it will hurt more than anything.  you’ll feel alone and overdramatic for feeling so much for them.  in these times especially you need to do all you can to get them out of your mind.  i know it’s hard.  find an outlet; surround yourself with friends; indulge in reading or running or whatever you like to do.  focus on yourself and not them.
7. breathe.
8. breathe.
9. breathe.
10. you know deep inside that they are just a tiny corner of the big picture.  everything will be okay.  tell yourself that every day.

You can write about me* you said
and that way I'll never really die

I don't want to write about you I said
*If you can't ******* be here to read it.

Touch your earlobes
let your toes turn to ice
think of ships that sink
and aspirations that
sail into hurricanes.
River down 45th
swim like a taxi
up for air, up for air
flowing between here, there
everywhere, everywhere
fishing for metaphors
catch one, it’s seaweed
cook it up anyway,
you’re starving.
A tower with hands
touching your ears,
losing your feet
in the sea.

Reaching elevator doors
heart crashing to standstill
breath ripped from lips
cold twisting, poison heat

no no no no no scream your ears
pounding the walls, ground floor
down down down shout your hands
clattering earthquake on steel

your eyes swimming in disbelief
ground floor get to ground floor
slow descent watches free fall
where is the ground, tell me please

they are not gone doors opening
are you okay stranger you've terrified
run run get out get out they are not
gone gone gone echo rattles your skull

panic tearing throat from neck
you could have done more say walls
burst outside cars screaming like mother
lost child gone gone gone no no no

suffocating outside too no escape
not today no no no there is no air
black go lights you've hit your head
it echoes gone gone gone gone gone

gone gone gone gone gone

Oh you
feel more
like home
than home.

In this society
of souls from the millennium
Invigorated by validation
Drugged only skin-deep
With toxic actions and words
And prices ruling like
A silver-spoon-fed princess
The value of an individual
Plunges deep into the depths
Of the shallowest mirror-like pools

I can only sigh
As I sit in this new class
Alongside new faces
And the absence of the professor
I think of refunding my expensive tuition fee
When I pay my utmost attention
To everything around me

They tell me to either write or say,
Whichever would best light the way.
But there are words that i can neither say nor write,
As if my brain, lips, and heart are in a constant fight.

I yearn to say such things i feel,
Then i realize i could not reveal.
My heart screams out your name,
But my lips could not do the same.

the first time I ever saw you
I knew
I knew,
I could like you for a long time
and that your face would always be engraved
in my mind,
in my heart.

perhaps, I wasted too many time.
perhaps, I am a little too late.
but I never forget the first time I ever saw you.
I knew,
I knew.

I still sometimes wear
your sweater
to sleep.