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  Oct 2015 Danielle Cusanelli
maxine
I'm just an empty coffee cup, with nothing left in me and all of the stains from the past.
i can no longer be your pick-me-up.
I've never seen the world around me in better clarity than when it was shrouded in darkness.

For my eyes had been closed to simplistic pleasures, and once the darkness closed in I was awakened to the vulnerability of the world.
Of me.

The fragility of my soul, threatening to break and crumble when it's too much to bear.

Everything is sunny, when you aren't paying attention. Or so you think. When you glance you don't see the the imperfections that have the power to ruin you. So when it comes, it appears to be an ambush.
But it's been a long time coming.

But the light, the beautiful light;
In its perfect serenity.
Dazzles you like nothing you've ever seen
When you're eyes are open to see it.
It makes the darkness consequential to your diminutive existence.
I used to feel
I used to try

I can't anymore
I'm not sure why

I want everything
I want nothing

How do I know
My mind is bugging

I feel so lost
I feel so gone

Everything is so much
It's hard to hang on
School has been a little too tough for the past few weeks.
I feel lost.
Not the "lost" when you are somewhere foreign,
And you feel a rush of adventure
At the idea of finding familiarity.

The kind of lost
Where all there is,
Is void.

Void of emotion.
Void of sound.
Void of color.
Void
Of
Life.
i want to experience things.
life,
and all of its ins and outs.
its beautiful sorrows and painstaking highs.
i am a girl hungry to see the world.
ready to consume the sights i have yet to see.
to drink in revolutionary ideas with my mind.
Love like the sun
Loves the earth
Ever since they met
They dance every day

The sun makes the earth
Look on the brighter side
The earth gives the sun
A reason to wake up

Love like the earth
Loves the sun
Because the earth isn’t distracted
By the stars and the moon
Illness
Sickness
Disease
Lets not sugarcoat the truth

Curse
Life Ruiner
Murderer
That is more like it

Cancer had found it's way
and planted a home
Right. In. My. Mothers. Throat.

Putting a hold on her life
on my fathers
my grandmothers
my brothers
mine.

Now out of her throat
and out of her life
she struggles with recovery
and is left to pick up the pieces
this heartless, cruel, monster
has left behind.

Cancer had finally found a new home
my home

Because even when it is gone..
It is never really gone.
My mom is my inspiration and I wish things would get easier.
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