wanted to write a darker peom. please give me some feedback*

I see you dessicated
Falling dying
You become one with the earth, your body sinking into
Like the titanic into sea

I fall with you
We fall as one
United forever
Even at the end
For eternity

You said you'd never hurt me
But was that all a lie?
Now whenever I think of you
I can't help but cry

I thought I would never lose you
Now I see that that was fake
Now whenever I think of you
I simply start to bake

Rivulets of blood running down my face
Pooling in my hand
My dreams float into the sky
But in the dirt they land

yellow hair, falling and bouncing like ocean waves
orange lips, meticulously painted to be genuinely gorgeous
untouched beauty: you are all mine

and i know that this will never end
returning and coming back forever
ending is not an option

my love, you're the strongest. the bravest.
years of resistance have built you up to be towering over others

even when faced with disagreement, you easily overpower others
viewing you fight is the greatest pleasure
even when faced with turmoil, you stay strong
riding on everything is your beautiful soul
your beautiful soul brings me joy, even in the darkest times
thinking about you brings me the most happiness my love
happiness is real and true, palpable, when i see you
ice becomes my heart whenever you leave
not to lie, when you return, my heart thaws like a defrosted food
green broccoli or red cherries thawing

babe, you're the best and the bravest
at all of my events, you always impress everyone with your singing
bravery is needed to do that
you possess that courage within you

apples and pears could never measure up to you
nothing could ever measure up
dinosaurs could maybe but they are dead

i will never stop loving you

whispers mask your hidden feelings
illicit activities like late night reconnaisances
licking
licking

needing more from you
everything you provide is enough
viewing your beauty
everything you provide is everything i will ever need
reading each others lips like tongues

spicy activities
trucking across the 405 highway
of course i touch your skin
please tell me it is so soft and supple

love for you is tangible
oranges are more sour than my love for you
viewing your body
it is so graceful
needing you to tell me you love me back
gracefully you do

your love is so strong
oranges could never be as strong as my love for you
universe is beautiful. we are all stardust

a little acrostic peom
*hope you all like :)

authors note
Hey Everyone! This is a little peom I made with one line from each of my peoms fused together. It's a little strange but I wanted to represent all of my work. I hope you like it!!! Crandall*





I feel safe with your power
You chomped me and swallowed me whole
you're pitch dark eyelashes, like pitch dark strings
your kindness, happiness, gorgeousity

corporations are evil
crandall's art was super great
our wurld is a mess

you whispered it in my ear as soft as a pillow that i have just fluffled by beating it
i hear your screeches as you sing along to katy perry's "swish swish"
towers of grape, rolling bouncing
my fingers would slide down it like a sheet of paper on a river of melted butter

paper-thin beetle wings,
fear
i love the little *****

eggs remind me of you
the next day i saw you your eye was the size of a glob of clove powder
Or an ant on a log
peoms

That was your licky number,
Don't be ashamed of your hobnobs.

I pear down and see its little legs trembing, shaking in death
the repriduction of the universe
howdy doo
darknes.
my princess, my darling, my murderer

the ocean, salty like my tears
My thoughts were running wild like snip snip
i  g u e s s  t h i s  i s  j u s t  a  c r u e l  w o r l d

i smell you
take the nuts
Your kneecaps

You had the path to my heart
You felt it aching
Breaking

You stuck out your hand
You took my heart in your hand
Beating
Completing
Defeating

You were gentle
Fragmental
Judgemental

But I feel safe within you
I feel safe with you having my heart
I feel safe with your power
Devour
Louder

Now you have two hearts
And I have none
But that's ok because now we are one
And all is done

Your lips were blood red
Dripping with fervor
Your teeth were shining white
Like pearls or snow
Your tongue was a snake tongue
Forked and ready to last out with hurtful words

So entrancing
You ate me up with this mouth
You chomped me and swallowed me whole
You never said sorry

sometimes i gayze out the window
watching the rain fall down
and then i realize i am thinking of yuo

i miss you so much darling
you're soft midnight black hair
you're pitch dark eyelashes, like pitch dark strings
you're blue eyes, like the sky

the sky reminds me of stars
and then i realize
we are star crosed lovers

when stars cros they become equals
and that is what we are my baby child of the universe
yuo give my life meaning
we are never to be seperated

even if everyone tryes to seperate us
they can not
because we are forever
like the stars in the sky

come be with me and watch the rain
i love you for eternety