I grasp onto the gasps and awe of some stranger
I do it all reckless, and so unafraid by this danger
I tango with the early hours and my own ***** mind
I beg for more from the phone screen I hide behind
I play with these loose holds and these unattached strings
I play with their pleasure, revel in the way they moan and sing
I validate my own worth through this self I display
I almost don't recognize the person on my mirror today

I wish to wipe my hands clean of what I knew
I've learnt what capabilities I have, and I've been traumatized
I don't care if the cycle is starting to repeat once more
I want to do things differently and finally save my own soul
Because the biggest capability I've found within myself
Is the power to wash away what I once known

It was my thing. It was our thing.
I'm not ready to share it with the world.
I want it to stay my thing. Our thing.

She's a little tired, a little cold
She feels a little empty in her soul
The room spins in his roundabout ways
He keeps her on edge most of the day
She's a little tired, a little sick of the ride
He thinks it's due to him not being able to hide
But that's not the case, let her make herself clear
She didn't want you there, she wanted you here

Last night, you asked me what I was afraid of
And under the stars and the influence of sin
I refused to confess
I was afraid of you

In a 5 am wonder
A nicotine dawn
A black coffee haze
And a slow song start
I think about you
Possibly thinking about me

I like using fire as an analogy, a metaphor, the punchline for most of my poetry

I often describe the heart as if it were a hearth, while its beats were the heat it radiated

I see it—sometimes a roaring flame, often times a steady bonfire, other times a dying match.

It could scorch you if you aren't careful, but it also provides you warmth and light. A sort of clarity. Comfort.

It allows some of the toughest things on Earth to become malleable and mold itself into something new

It turns the bitter into sweet, the biting cold to teeth-sinking warm, the tasteless into delicious

It allows the spirit to soar with columns of smoke to the heavens while the body becomes fertilizer for daisies

It takes beauty, and burns it black and ash to the point of no recognition

Fire is so precious, and dangerous, and essential, and beautiful, and ugly—just like this hearth of a heart

Tended and regulated well, it's the greatest discovery of mankind

Allowed to burn out quick, or spread out of control, then it's the accident that burned down London in 1666

I believe I should end this by saying: find someone who will tend to your hearth as if it were their last dying light, instead of a person who would simply roast marshmallows with forest fires

I have only one match left

One gave me a sparks and nearly caught fire, but instead turned out to be too fragile to use, so I set it aside in hopes that it would give me a flame one day when its ready

The one before that was lit too brightly and burnt my fingers, making me drop it on the ground to burn out on its own, scorching the ground below me with licks of orange and red and passion I don't know how to handle

That one match on the counter, I'm far too afraid to ignite, and instead allowed it to grow wet and unusable to even strike against the rough to attempt to set it ablaze

All the others were duds and broke too easily, so I had to throw them all away, unable to be used for the warmth it should have provided

I have only one match left

How will I ever light my way?

my fingers graze your cold skin
leaving a trail of passion at its wake
i meet your eyes, a constellation
turning the dark into a galaxy
my breath hits your exposed neck
erupting anxiety and carnal need
i taste your sweat and rose perfume
honey and wine for the wicked and free

It's foolish to wish on eyelashes, stars, dandelions, numbers, and everything in between

The mere concept of grasping upon straws to achieve our desires in itself has become nonsensical childhood rhymes.

But if it grants me even the smallest placebo of solace in this unforgiving *******, then...

Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have this wish I wish tonight.