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  Nov 2018 Makayla
Demons
I’m drowning.

And I’ve gotten so used to this feeling...

That I could go jump into a pool...
And not feel a **** thing...
As I hold my head...

Underwater.
  Nov 2018 Makayla
cassie marie
would you miss me?
the thought that you won't ever see me at school
except it will be permanent
not temporary

how would you feel
if you knew that your words caused a parent so much pain
finding their daughter on the floor
pills and letters in hand

how would you live
with the thought of knowing
a girl so sweet and so innocent
took her own life because of your words
she thought she was worthless
but the human life is so precious
and you made her throw it away

how would you feel
when the school finally announces it
and you see her best friend
falling on her knees
you know she was never the same after that
she never was able to gain back the light in her eyes
her face is still tear stained to this day
she still holds the letter the girl wrote to her in her back pocket
of the jeans they both loved
she still blames herself

her family still has a hole
at the dinning room table where she would always beg to sit
they couldn't even have her favorite meal for a year
they still haven't cleaned out her room
her little brother has been acting out
her mother breaks her teeth on ***** bottles
and her father is angry
angry at himself
and angry at everyone else

how could you know right
that maybe a joke to you wasn't taken so lightly to her
that the things you called her
she held on to them deeply
whilst you don't even remember them

how are your parents going to feel
when they find out there's a police investigation
on their kids
for taking an innocent life
from their words
and their actions

think about this
the next time you call someone a *******
remember you might be in this position one day
hi don't be a ******* thanks
  Nov 2018 Makayla
cassie marie
it's 12 am
everything is ok
the blaring of music from the parties
all the drinkers start to head home
all the loners are out at this time
wondering what would happen if they died
thinking "who would really miss me?"

It's 1 am
things are starting to kick in
the night is starting to settle down
some people are either having the times of their lives
or wondering what purpose they truly have in life
some are crying
some are laughing
some don't know what to feel.

It's 2 am
nothing is ok anymore
all the party animals have taken it down a notch
no one is out on the streets anymore
most are watching movies with their friends
others are sitting in one place,
wondering who would really miss them?
who would actually care if the died?

It's 3 am
everything has gone to ****.
you're staring at the bottle of pills
you set your razors out
you fill the tub with scalding hot water
you start to write the letters
tears stain the fragile paper as you sign them

It's 4 am
the sounds of birds chirping stopped you
it made you realize something
pain is just another reminder that you are alive
pain is a thing that makes you remember something,
you are human and you can get through this.
everyone goes through hurt
but everyday, people still carry on.

It's 5 am.
the sounds of cars driving helps you be happy
it reminds you to appreciate that you are alive
it helps drown out the voices
the voices telling you to ******* die.

It's 6 am.
the day breaks
and everything is ok again
it's a new day to start over.
look i am always here to talk and help out as best i can if you are going through something.i myself battle depression, anxiety, and ADD. and it ******* *****. but i am here for you.
  Nov 2018 Makayla
kivel
why
how death can be so beautiful to one
bringing peace
and joy
freedom from this world of hell

this illusion death gave
to ease one's suffering
he desired it so much
that he killed himself

blossoms bloom as the Rose's petal make mess

the greediness of the boy
may have given him a new world to dance
but everything comes with a price
a sin was committed upon his death

a whole new world of pain
and emotional suffering
brought to those who surrounded
the withering, red Rose
for they wanted it to grow with them

instead they weeped for the deceased
and crowded around their friend
his family losing mentality
as they stare at the gun the corpse was holding

chaos brewed
cataclysm loomed

"what happened to our beautiful creation
did i not try hard enough
the kids are crying
im crying"

"why."

mother stares at son
then his petals
his beautiful petals
im sorry

knife at the table
wanting to justify her unjust actions towards him
and make it all even again
so then maybe
he can
forgive her

and another beautiful flower
loses its petals
to the grand illusion
of death.
i need to rant.
  Nov 2018 Makayla
kitty hart
What if today is the last,
You will never see me again,
The light is bright,
but I cant see it.

my life is not done,
I've to much to lose,
I hope you understand,
I love you.
I am not going to **** myself
  Nov 2018 Makayla
Saber wilson
I close my eyes and you haunt me
this image I can't bare
I hate this world that surrounds me
when I felt you near

I hate the way you touched me
who the hell gave you the right
to treat me like you wanted to
to take advantage of me every night

I was only 8 when I felt your touch
of your ugly hands that I hate so much

I never knew why you did this to me
why was I the one no one believed
you felt me feeling stupid and shamed
somehow you made me feel I was the one to blame

did I really deserve this from someone I trusted
I thought you were my blood but it was my body that you lusted

I close my eyes and you still haunt me
this image I cant bare
I hate that you still surround me
even though you're not here
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