"Don't make promises you can't keep," They said.

Well my heart is filled with the ones you couldn't.

Once there was a girl who made many mistakes,
And she decided to build a mountain with them.
She never fixed them;
She was just too afraid of falling.

I'm sorry I grew up.

I keep wondering why your name exists so loudly at the bottom of the bottle,
And why I keep waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat with my hands around my throat.
My fear of drowning was replaced with the fear of you leaving, but no one ever told me what to do when my biggest fear became inevitable.
I keep scratching myself hoping that maybe it'll be your skin I find under my fingernails, because then I'll know a part of you stayed.
You left bloodstains on my pillowcase and holes in the wall and I think you chose to slice me vertically so that I'd be harder to sew up.
Now it's 2am and I'm alone in my bed trying to stop the bleeding.
Maybe these bandages could've taught you a few things,
Like how to heal the wounds you created, or maybe even how to stay.

it took
the smell
of coffee grounds
and smokey burnt wood
13 days
to finally escape
from the thick fabrics
of my favorite sweatpants
and I promised myself
I'd never let you
burrow away
into the deepest parts
of me
just to keep warm;
23 nights from November
and I'm still digging you out
from underneath my skin.
and that Sunday night
at 12:37 AM;
remnants of
melted rouge kisses
overflowed
from the surface
of the birthmark
on your left shoulder-blade
when I traveled across
the terrains
of every inch
of your back
with my bottom lip;
sweeter
than the sugarcanes in my tea
sending chills
up every bone
in my body
and I knew you
had finally found your home
for the winter.





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