I keep wondering why your name exists so loudly at the bottom of the bottle, And why I keep waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat with my hands around my throat. My fear of drowning was replaced with the fear of you leaving, but no one ever told me what to do when my biggest fear became inevitable. I keep scratching myself hoping that maybe it'll be your skin I find under my fingernails, because then I'll know a part of you stayed. You left bloodstains on my pillowcase and holes in the wall and I think you chose to slice me vertically so that I'd be harder to sew up. Now it's 2am and I'm alone in my bed trying to stop the bleeding. Maybe these bandages could've taught you a few things, Like how to heal the wounds you created, or maybe even how to stay.